![[ AllRPG.com ]](http://www.allrpg.com/wp-content/themes/premiumnews/images/logo.gif "[ AllRPG.com ]"){kind=logo}
I’m typically a hard guy to surprise. If you hide behind a door in the middle of the night and wait for me to stumble to the toilet in order to frighten me, I probably won’t react favorably. If anything, I may just immediately kick you out of my house. But this week is a bit different. There is actual real, verifiable news – and I am nearly in tears.
Start the battle drums! I hear those sweet horns already carrying in the wind. What’s that? Are those war elephants? I can feel the steady vibrations of their movements in-between my legs. This week Macintosh RPG enthusiasts are actually being gifted with a game! Never mind the fact that this game is small enough to fit onto the XBLA platform, or being utilized as a small diversionary experience for PC players. Penny-Arcade’s On the Rain Slick Precipice of Darkness Episodic Adventures will be available for the Mac on Wednesday, May 21. If you haven’t necessarily had your hand on the video gaming pulse the last decade, Penny Arcade is the premiere satirist web comic in gaming culture. More importantly than the founders of Penny Arcade, or the game itself, is the fact that it is being offered. Happy days ahead, I’m sure.
Other than that, we have that Wrath of the Lich King World of Warcraft expansion. What? You’re already yawning? I hear you, loyal reader. I really do.
Again, that wraps up our coverage of the week in Macintosh RPG gaming. While it may seem too early to be so, fear not, for I have a special treat just for you. This week, other than playing GTA IV, I took the opportunity to watch an awesome movie. It’s a movie that both transcends time and speaks to human condition. Its topics are sprawling, touching our social inadequacies, our perception of each other, and the timelessness of human destruction. It also speculates on where we are going as a society, and the dangers of exploring technology beyond our grasp.
Plus, there’s huge fucking robots clobbering each other.
Yeah, I’m talking Robocop, the greatest movie ever made. Forget about Iron Man, the Terminator series, and Short Circuit. Robocop could eat all those kids for breakfast. In fact, I wonder what Robocop has for breakfast? I realize he has that organic sustaining paste, but I wonder if he ever stops into Burger King for that wicked huge burrito thing they have going on. Hopefully Robo doesn’t do that too much; it would be awkward to talk about a machine with triple chins or meat sweats.
The movie begins with a brilliant assessment by Media Break journalists on the state of the future world. Nuclear war, apartheid, and cop slayings are par for the course in this future. The world needs help and the only thing left for human salvation is American corporations. In a way, I wish it was McDonalds, but instead the movie spins OCP (Omni Consumer Products) as the savior. OCP has decided that urban pacification involves creating a utopian society, one without pain and fear of dubious people.
OCP decides to start buying Detroit. They take over the majority of their infrastructure, including the police department, which is in shambles because of the recent crime wave instigated by Clarence Boddicker. Boddicker is a wicked bad dude, guilty of killing cops and running Detroit as if it was his own masochistic, evil playground. In comes Alex J. Murphy, a transfer cop from a milder precinct in Michigan. Murphy is a badass, willing to fight crime wherever it takes him.
Unbeknownst to him of course, that he’s going to get the shit blown out of him a couple of scenes later.
And boy does he get the shit blown out of him. Upon meeting his new partner, Lois, Murphy is called out to capture a few bank robbers. Unfortunately, these bank robbers are Boddicker’s gang, and they don’t take kindly to cops. A car chase is begun, in which Boddicker throws one of his own dudes at the police car to stop Murphy’s relentless advance. Eventually, Murphy and Lois find the most obvious place in Detroit where thieves/murderers hide. Murphy is then separated from his partner, and scrambled like the eggs you had in the morning.
Meanwhile at OCP, ED-209 is introduced to a panel. ED-209 is the epitome of massive fucking robots, goes haywire and grinds up a dude with two mounted machine guns. The boss isn’t so happy, and Bob Morton jumps in to talk about his “Robocop” program.
In comes Robocop, the baddest cyborg ever created. Doctors were able to save Murphy and transport him into a cybernetic suit that Morton helped design. Apparently, they were also able to retrofit his brain with some programming as well. But it has to get annoying to see all those damn green lines all over the place. Hopefully the future doesn’t revert back to DOS like Robocop’s has. Anyway, Robocop is given a set of prime directives that are just too cool to leave out:
1.) Serve the public trust
2.) Protect the innocent
3.) Uphold the Law
4.) And a classified one, because that’s obligatory.
Anyway, long story short – Robocop for the win. Robocop smashes up drug reigns, Boddicker’s face, ED-209, and then OCP. The end of the movie is classic. You don’t often get to view arterial spray induced from a letter opener. Robocop is just a stud, a robot stud.
In a way we’re seeing the resurgence of Macintosh gaming in the form of Robocop. At first every developer (OCP) is like, “Hey, I don’t know about this new Robocop thing. I mean, does it work?” And Robocop (Macintosh) is all like, “Guy – check me out. I’m totally mowing bad dudes down.” So basically, I’m trying to say, after the PC world finally falls down, Macintosh developers will show up on the scene like OCP. It’s up to us, the Robocops, of the Macintosh world to kick ass and play the games to perpetuate the medium. Gamers should only play to a point though because, frankly, I don’t want to deal with a jet-pack or interchangeable gun arm analogy.
That’s actually it for This Week in Mac RPG Gaming. I hope you enjoyed yourself. Drop me a comment or an e-mail if you want to sound off. I may even feature you in my next column.
May 16th, 2008 at 10:27 am
Terrible article, boo!
May 16th, 2008 at 1:13 pm
MORE ROBOCOP FOR TEH WIN.
May 21st, 2008 at 10:35 am
I like the analogy. It is like taking the beaten down dog and exalting it. Kinda like the Geo Metro’s of miles per gallon. It may look awkward, but it sure as hell gets good gas mileage.
July 26th, 2008 at 9:31 am
Good site I \”Stumbledupon\” it today and gave it a stumble for you.. looking forward to seeing what else you have..later
October 15th, 2008 at 4:26 am
???????? ???????? ? ????, ???????? ?? ????? ????? ?????????????????
? ??? ?????? ?????=) ????????
October 29th, 2008 at 5:07 am
??? ??? ??????, ???????? ?? ?????? ?? ???????? ? ??? ?????????? ??? ??????????, ???????? ??? ????.? ??? ????? ????????(((
October 29th, 2008 at 5:46 am
?? ?? ??????? ????? ??????=) ??? ??? ?? ???????? ??? ??? ??????? ? ????? ??????? ????? ??????????. ? ???????? ?? ????????? ?? ??????????? ????. ?????? ??? ????? ?? ? ??? ????? ???? ??? ?????????? ??? ?????? ??????))))
October 31st, 2008 at 7:54 am
? ??? ????? ??? ?? ????? ????? ????? ???????????, ??? ?? ???, ????? ????????? ?????? ??? ??? ???? ? ????? ?????? ??????))
November 16th, 2008 at 2:15 pm
? ?????? ??? ???? ????????? ?? ????? ??????? ????????
November 18th, 2008 at 1:19 pm
????, ??? ?????? ?? ???
November 19th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
??? ??? ?? ?????? ?????
November 20th, 2008 at 1:21 pm
? ???? ??????? (?) ???? ?????
November 20th, 2008 at 2:27 pm
?? ??? ??? ? ??? ???? ????? ????????. ?? ?????? ??? ????? ?????!
November 21st, 2008 at 1:34 pm
???? ????? ? ?????????? ??????????????? ?? ????, ?? ????? ???????, ??? ?????? ????? ??????????..
November 24th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
??????????. ?????? ? ???? ????. ??? ?????????? ??????
November 24th, 2008 at 3:44 pm
????????? ???????, ?? ? ?? ????? ????? ???????. ??? ????? ?????
November 25th, 2008 at 10:37 am
???? ? ????????? ??? ????? ????? ?? ????? ???
November 25th, 2008 at 1:27 pm
????? ????? ????? ??????? ??? ?????, ? ???? ?? ?????? ??? ?????.. ?????, ???????.
November 25th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
?????, ?? ??????. ??? ???????. ??!
November 26th, 2008 at 11:33 am
????! ? ??? ????? ???????? ????? ????????. ?????, ????????!
November 26th, 2008 at 1:18 pm
??? ??? ??? ?? ???? ???????????? ????????
November 26th, 2008 at 2:59 pm
??? ???, ????? ??? ?? ?????
November 27th, 2008 at 11:17 am
? ????? ????? ?? ????????? ?????????????
November 27th, 2008 at 3:13 pm
?? ?? ???? ??? ?? ?????? ?? ????????? ???????????? ????????!
December 2nd, 2008 at 1:06 pm
?????, ? ??? ? ???? ???????? ?? ???? ????
December 3rd, 2008 at 10:37 am
????. ???????? ?????. ???????? ??????? ????. ??????? ??????.
December 3rd, 2008 at 12:25 pm
?????, ??? ? ????? ?????? ??? ???????? ? ???? ???? ?????? ????? ??????. ?????? ??????, ? ??????? - ? ????? ? ? ???? ????????? ?? ?????
December 3rd, 2008 at 1:55 pm
??????????, ??????????? ????????. ????????.
December 4th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
?? ????? ? ? ?? ???? ???? ????! ??? ??? ???? ???! ?????? ???????!
December 10th, 2008 at 3:13 pm
??????? ??? ???????? ????? ?????????? ?? ???????? ??? ??? ????? ? ????????? ????????? ???????????? ?????????
December 11th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
????????? ????????? ??? ?? ??????????? ??????????? ????? ???????, ?????????
December 12th, 2008 at 9:01 am
?? ?????? ???????? ? ?????? ?????? ???, ?? ???????? ???? ? ???? ??? ??????? ???, ?????? ??? ??? ??????? ? ???????
December 14th, 2008 at 1:29 pm
??????? ? ????? ???? ??? ?????? ?? ? ????????? ????? ?????? ?????????? ??? ????? ?????????
December 15th, 2008 at 9:37 am
??????? ?????? ??? ???? ????????? ???????????? ?????? ????, ?????? ?? ??? ???? ?????? ?????????, ? ????????? ? ????????? ????? ????? ??? ???? ? ????
December 15th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
???????? ???????? ?????? ??? ???? ????? ??????? ????? ?????? ?????, ?? ?????? ???? ????? ?????? ?????????
December 16th, 2008 at 5:39 am
??? ?? ??????? ???????? ?? ??? ???? ??? ?????? ? ?????? ??????? ??? ??????? ??????? ???????????? ??????
December 16th, 2008 at 7:42 am
???????? ???????? ?????? ??? ???? ????? ??????? ????? ?????? ?????, ?? ?????? ???? ????? ?????? ?????????
December 16th, 2008 at 1:40 pm
????????? ? ?????? ??????? ?????? ?????????? ??????? ????????????? ? ???????? ??????????? ???????
December 18th, 2008 at 6:10 am
?????? ?????? ? ??????????? ??????? ???? ??????????
December 18th, 2008 at 3:14 pm
??????: ??????? ??? ????? ?? ?????. ?????? ???? ??????? ? ?? ?????, ????? ??????????
December 20th, 2008 at 12:35 am
????? ???????????????, ???? ?????? ????????? ??? ??????
December 20th, 2008 at 8:44 am
??????? ?? ??? ??????????, ?????? ???????? ???????????? ??? ????????? ????? ?????? ?? ??? ???????? ??????, ????? ?? ???????? ????? ??????????? ?????????
December 23rd, 2008 at 9:34 pm
?????????? ????????. ?????? ???????? ????????. ?? ??????? ?? ????? ??? ???????
December 24th, 2008 at 8:19 am
? ??????????? ????????????? ???????? ??? ??? ??????????? ????????? ???? ????? - ?????? ??????? ? ?? ??????
December 25th, 2008 at 2:06 pm
?????, ?? ????? ??? ????????? ??????? ????????? ?????-???? ?? ???????????
December 26th, 2008 at 11:19 am
?? ????? ????? ??????? ???????? ?????????, ??????????? ? ?????? ??????????????? ??????? ??????????? ???????, ??? ???????? ?????????? ?????????. ???? ? ?????? ???????????, ????????????? ??????? ???? ? ???????????????? ???????? ????????? ???????. ??????? ????? ?? ??????????, ???? ????? ????? ?????? ????? ????????, ??????? ? ???????????? ??????? ?????????????, ? ????? ???????? ??????????? ???????? ????????????????, ??????? ??????????? ??????? ???????????????? ? ???????????????? ?????????.
December 26th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
? ???? ? ???? ? ????… ??? ?? ??????? “??? ???????”
December 28th, 2008 at 6:24 pm
???????????? ?????????, ? ?? ??? ?? ????.
January 1st, 2009 at 2:52 pm
???? ?? ?????? ???????????? ?? ????????????? ?? ???? ?????
January 2nd, 2009 at 6:10 pm
???????? ??? ??? ???? ?? ???? ?????, ?????? ??? ????? ???? ? ???? ?? ??? ? ?????? ?? ????
January 3rd, 2009 at 5:25 pm
??????? ??????????? ?????? ???????, ?? ?????? ?????? ???????? ???????? ??? ??????, ??????? ??????
January 4th, 2009 at 10:57 am
??????? ??????????? ?????? ???????, ?? ?????? ?????? ???????? ???????? ??? ??????, ??????? ??????
January 4th, 2009 at 7:09 pm
????? ?????????? ????????? ????? ?? ????? ?? ?? ?? ????? ????????? ?????, ?? 10 ????? ????? ???? ????????? ?? ????????
January 5th, 2009 at 8:31 pm
???????, ? ????? ?? ????? ?????-?????? ?????? ? ?????? ?????? ?? ??????? ?? ????????????? ??????? ??.