First off, you may be asking “Where the hell was TWiMRPGG?” Well, other than being busy creating snappy acronyms, I was too involved in imagining what it would be like if I was actually playing a real RPG on my Macintosh that is not four years old.

News

The blockbuster announcement this week was the fact that Macintosh users may be able to download Blizzard games via a Steam-ish service. Hilariousness is sure to ensue, because even though Blizzard is the only developer on the planet that believes the Macintosh is a viable platform, I was not able to pin down if this beta system will work in Mac OSX. The irony may hurt folks, but my spirit has yet to be broken.

 I wonder if Steve Jobs ever wondered about our alternate reality escapist mentality?

Actually, yes my spirit has been broken. It’s not my “spirit” in the sense of a soul. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure that would be broken too if I didn’t sell it to a friend on a drunken night listening to karaoke revisions of A-Ha. It’s my spirit in the sense of my enthusiasm for Macintosh gaming. The last few decades have been rough, seeing as we’ve only experienced the release of Starcraft and Cake Mania. While Cake Mania is quite possibly the best game ever created by man, I feel as though our beloved platform deserves more. My wish is that within the next few weeks our platform will finally receive the validity it has warranted. With that said, I really hope that platform pusher is either Cooking Mama: Cook-off or Two Worlds. Those two games are the pinnacle of development, and no gamer can argue that at all.

Just like Steve Jobs, when this dude opens his arms, shit happens.

The Ever-So-Soft Dreams of Brad Nicholson

While the release of those two games is imminent (I feel it in my trendy veins) I often find myself staring into the distance, wishing there was more. The other night I saw in the distance a fiery nexus; the collision of cosmic particles and “stuff.” I watched tiny, dying stars gasp their last great breath of life in twinkling fury, while meteors danced across the skyline. As I gazed, smoke slowly started to blur my vision, and then my hand began hurting. At first it was steady, but eventually erupted as my neurons practically screamed, “You’re fucking hand is on the grill, Brad!”

Perhaps I was just cooking hamburgers, and just maybe I laid my hand down on the grill far too long. Yet, in that moment of ecstasy and pain, I discovered two things about myself. I love Carl Sagan, and I wish there were more RPGs for the Macintosh.

What Would Brad Nicholson Do (WWBND)

There are a few things that I would do to not only create interest in Macintosh gaming, but also help usher in those developers that feel they would be too challenged by developing for the platform. In the vein of the modern internet writers, I shall construct a list:

· The Macintosh Air is wicked tiny, and beautiful. In fact, I think the Air is almost as pristine as Mr. Job’s face (and that’s saying quite a bit boys and girls). So, how about tiny, beautiful games? Hell, at this point, the games don’t even have to be in the boxes. How about tiny, beautiful empty boxes? Surely if enough of these boxes line Wal-Mart’s shelves, people will say, “Oh man, that’s wicked popular. I should buy these.”
· Have the dude from the commercials playing World of Warcraft while talking to the PC Guy. PC Guy could totally be like, “Hey, I can download Steam, run Bioshock, and right-click.” Then Macintosh dude could say, “Fuck you, PC.” Because that’s how we all feel.
· I think a big incentive to be interested is food, and I also believe the majority of the games industry is fat – so if I was Apple I would release development units to wrapped in supple pork chops with gravy smattered all over them. If anything, they’ll enjoy themselves
· Oh, and one more thing. How about kittens? I can’t think of anything particularly useful that a kitten can provide in terms of organization, but they’re cute aren’t they?

Totally. That’s it for TWiMRPGG. If you have any comments, questions, or concerns voice them here!