Finish It

[Devil King]

It can be as ridiculous as possible.

A couple went for a stroll along a cavernous hillside with enormous batwings among the interior. They fell through a trapdoor with rats, roaches and lice everywhere to be found.

[Atlas]

They began to realize each other's existence for the first time, truly. The woman, Agnes, took out a knife and stabbed the man, Boaz, in the head. She ripped out his eyes and leveled her appetite for bloodlust and satiated her enormous wonder for flesh.

[Indigo]

Then Agnes turned to Atlas and said, "why the hell did you make me do that?". Atlas jumped down from the obese cat he had been living on for the past 5 years and said "Shut up woman! Get on my fucking cat!"

[Devil King]

The cat was a wonderous creation of insanity. There were many people that saw the cat and lived to tell the tall tale about how it would gnaw at your very existence with its clattering teeth. The teeth knew no bounds... no bounds. The cat was fat.

Atlas was seemingly stroking the cat as if he was an accomplice to it. Terrifying.

[Indigo]

"Brad?" "Yes, yes it's me Angelina" "Oh Brad I... I'd forgotten the sound of your voice!"

"NO YOU COW" Atlas was now furiously waiving his script around while shamelessly shouting at Agnes "THIS WAY WE'LL NEVER MAKE IT TO HOLLYWOOD!!!"

"I'm sorry Atlas, this is ridiculous" Agnes was unimpressed "Who came up with this script anyway?"

She threw the stack of paper with the words "Mr and Mrs Smith 2" childishly written on the front page and falco-punched Atlas off the cat with it.

[TheBlatantKatana]

The cat messily devoured Agnes and turned to Atlas "perhaps you should stop trying to write while huffing nitrous retard."

The cat's stomach began growling and gurgling violently. "Oh dear. It seems that Agnes is not agreeing with me..."

Atlas was just staring open-mouthed at the cat.

"Holy shit! you talk!"

[Ges]

Seeing no other alternative, Atlas promptly took off his shirt and gave the cat the Heimlich maneuver. Before long...

[Evil]

The giant cat exploded, throwing Atlas into a nearby wall. There was no known cause to the explosion, but there was blood, guts and bile everywhere. Agnes stood near the center of where the cat once stood with a look of confusion spread across her face. Atlas was distraught over the loss of his cat, so he put his wiener in a blender and turned it on. Seeing this, Agnes could only begin to vomit.

[Devil King]

The vomit was suffocating to any who dared enter the proximity of it. Its essence was of molten lava and decaying flesh mingled with perfume that only angels would use.

Atlas became concerned with the state of the cat, even though its time has come and gone. I turned to Atlas and said "The cat is indeed dead, my friend. It's better off this way... all of the countless souls it's taken... do you still truly wish it was alive?" Atlas had a look of betwixt grief on his tear laden face " The cat was my dear friend! Do you understand?! I doubt one such as yourself would. You're far too primp and unproper to care." Amused by his antics, I proclaimed "You see -- I truly do understand. This is my understanding in its purest form."

I consoled Atlas with torments and ridiculing. It was good.

[Atlas]

Atlas took out his mutilated wiener and said to Devil King, "This is the holy wiener, for the only pure wiener is no wiener."

Agnes put the wiener in her vomit filled mouth and when she was done fornicating herself, the wiener had grown back and had turned to gold.

The holy grail of wieners.

DK was happy.

[twerp]

Yet DK's happiness directly resulted in LataKali's misery. And such twerp got involved. He gave DK the power to make any woman in the world a gourmet chef. And DK never went without a PBandJ sandwich until that fateful day when...

[Atlas]

The god of PBandJ's found out about this unholy sacrilege. DK's time was up.

Shortly thereafter, the whole AllRPG community found out about what had transpired on that unfortunate day.

Zeus found Atlas guilty of putting his wiener in a blender and sentenced him to lay off the cheese bagels.

And everyone else had to do really hard trigonometry.

And then...

[Indigo]

Meanwhile a polar bear died.

[Devil King]

The polar bear was actually me in animal form, but reincarnated. When it died my soul was transported back into an empty vessel of a being known as generalelectric. It took four entire years to activate the fried brain cells within GE, but once I did I took my old form that the world had come to know.

So many years... but I'm back.

Atlas seemed to excel at the hard trigonometry that so few tactfully mastered which gave him divine right of intuition. But somehow...

[Nickoten]

...He really knew that he was destined for the liberal arts. As such, he went to Kenyon College and double-majored in Women's Studies and Folklore.

[Indigo]

There he met the woman of his dreams. She had a "smokin' bod". But she couldn't speak or see, for she was headless.

[Atlas]

Total carnage came upon the ridiculed souls of AllRPG.

Atlas's denial of faith led to a massive cultish outbreak of careless negligence of parental guidance.

Soon Atlas and his headless wife adopted FE, for he was but a lowly, misguided retard child, left without parental guidance, for his parents had abandoned him during the very revolution Atlas himself had started.

In return, FE gave back rubs to Atlas every night.

The world was beginning to look brighter.

[scorpion]

then suddenly a hoard of undead appeared outta nowhere and started to attack unsupecting allrppg members.

[Indigo]

Atlas died. (sorry dude)

[Atlas]

Then FE became a black man.

Meanwhile, in a parallel universe, Atlas was fighting evil monsters named Gumbi and Nazi Boy.

Atlas and Liz wedded and the world was once again complete and sensible.

Also... Blue, in this parallel universe, became a priest and his real name was Judas. Blue also held a part time holiday job as Santa.

[Indigo]

FE realized that once one went black one could never go back, but it's not like he wanted to anyway. His his new found ethnicity FE decided to go the the parallel universe where Blue was Jesus, it was just around the block from krispy kreme.

[Atlas]

Jesus being a poor mexican whose job was to mow my fucking lawn.

[Indigo]

"God, Atlas how many parallel universes do you live in? Jesus Christ!" Said FE

Blue dropped the lawn mower and asked "what?"

[Devil King]

Blue became an insane messiah with a complex known only as Godus De Masochrist. The complex made him believe that he was actually the color blue and was seemingly obsessed with trying to commit suicide in some melodramatic fashion.

FE tried to talk to Blue and tell him that he was just a bit insane, but with a gesture FE ceased to exist.

I decided to take on Blue single-handedly...

[TheBlatantKatana]

And with a single touch, DK absorbed Blue's soul and all of his powers. Blue was now just a small wimpering voice in the depths of DK's mind.

With Blue as a submissive new multiple personality, and having inherited god-like powers, DK set out to become the one true Devil King. The first thing he did was transform every male RPGer into a bishonen...

[generalelectric]

and lo! the lord came down and said-eth thou art fools! and then it was known....

[TheBlatantKatana]

...That generalelectric has little imagination, and no flare at all. He also seemed impervious to Devil King's awesome bishonen powers and remained burly. And hairy. And smelled like a man (the incorrect way). So the (nearly) all-poweful Devil King pondered how he might convert this one lost sheep...

[generalelectric]

and soon realized that there would be no conversion! and so, time was born through the tear this division caused! and with the imbalances this division generated came great misery and.....

[Devil King]

In essence, I decided in removing GE's body and letting him roam the lands in his spirit form. Even his spirit was full of flaws...

I decided to remake the planet in my fashion. I made little wispy creatures that were mixtures of bees and butterflies along with a new breed of sloths that had local stords (similar to vocal cords, but not as vocal as they were local). The local cords let the sloths sing in unison about DK's harmonious world. Something was still bugging me, though...I wasn't quite sure what it was - something was nagging inside of my head...

Ah, I had remembered it must've been Blue. I swiftly silenced him and began creating...

[AspiringVictory]

this is shit

[Cyrus the virus]

So are you and your avatar and who you are and who your parents are and if you have kids, they're ugly and will be bullied in school. But somehow I imagine not many women see your dicklet voluntarily. Your friends will all die in a fire, but none of them will regret secretly hating you even in their final moments.

[Indigo]

The end.

[Atlas]

Lmao.

[Ges]

I will totally use the word "dicklet" in everyday speech from now on.

sooooo just work from that or something.

[Devil King]

So are you and your avatar and who you are and who your parents are and if you have kids, they're ugly and will be bullied in school. But somehow I imagine not many women see your dicklet voluntarily. Your friends will all die in a fire, but none of them will regret secretly hating you even in their final moments.

This post is amazing.

[Cyrus the virus]

Oddly enough NOT one of the posts I've received rep from.

I only have 4. This is my favorite post of mine: http://allrpg.com/forums/showthread.php?p=22343#post22343

Gosh I'm funny!!

[duattilia]

Little while ago looked through the topic. Great thread. Antennadeals.com reviews (http://vredefoundation.com/read-an-antennadeals-com-review/)!