Ask Cyrus!!

[Cyrus the virus]

CYRUS IS BORED

Thus: Ask Cyrus is born! Ask Cyrus a question! Cyrus will answer all questions!! About Cyrus, or not!

The possibilities!

Also a pleasant excuse to knock Hyde's silly thread down a peg because hey, this subforum deserves more than that.

[Phakiel]

Cyrus, what is the meaning of life?

Post Script: Phakiel is drunk.

[Ges]

Why are 25% of the visitors to the main site from China?

[CoolOtaku]

What's your favorite thing about Liz? :p

[Phakiel]

You know nothing Jon Snow.

[Cyrus the virus]

Rest now my children! Cyrus answers all!!! I bequeath unto ye all (yalls): knowledgement!

Cyrus, what is the meaning of life?

Post Script: Phakiel is drunk.

Dear Phakiel,

This is a question we all ask ourselves! I think what should be more important is "what is the meaning of my life?" What purpose do you want your life to serve to the people around you? Perhaps you want to better their lives by bringing humor into it, or love, or wealth (keep this one in mind if we meet, lawyer-man)!

We make our own purpose, darling son! Ponder the things that you have the power to change, and seek not an ultimate answer to all at once! It will only leave you confused, sweet lad.

Why are 25% of the visitors to the main site from China?

Dear Ges,

There are a lot 'o mothafuckas in China and lots 'o internet over there. Also they like video games(?).

A fascinating tidbit below!!

"After English (27%), the most requested languages on the World Wide Web are Chinese (23%), Spanish (8%), Japanese (5%), Portuguese and German (4% each), Arabic, French and Russian (3% each), and Korean (2%). By region, 42% of the world's Internet users are based in Asia, 24% in Europe, 14% in North America, 10% in Latin America and the Caribbean taken together, 6% in Africa, 3% in the Middle East and 1% in Australia/Oceania."

So holy shit!

What's your favorite thing about Liz? :p

Dear Smarmy Buttface oops I mean CoolOtaku!

My favorite thing about Liz is that I can act like a weirdo creep on this website toward her and she (supposedly) doesn't think I am a weirdo or a creep. This makes me feel comfortable in my goofy awkward internet persona-ness.

KNOWLEDGE DISPERSION COMPLETE

[CoolOtaku]

Dear Smarmy Buttface oops I mean CoolOtaku!


Awww :( I guess you never said you would answer nicely, so I can only blame myself.

Next question: Why so hurtful?!

[Phakiel]

Man I could kill a nun for a slice of pizza right now.

[Cyrus the virus]

Awww :( I guess you never said you would answer nicely, so I can only blame myself.

Next question: Why so hurtful?!

Makin fun of me!!

Dear Otaku! I am hurtful because I am hurt. How poetic, yes?

Man I could kill a nun for a slice of pizza right now.

Dear Phakiel!

You did not post your question in the form of a question, but that's okay! I would have to say that in order to arrange something like this, you would first have to find someone who A) wants a nun killed and B) has pizza to offer in return.

I hope my advice gives you direction!

ASK MORE QUESTIONS

[Phakiel]

Hmm...someone who would want a nun killed....I KNOW the sick catholic priest who got tired from molesting young boys and had his way with Mother Superior!

ON TOWARDS!

[Devil King]

Cyrus: Does Phakiel liek me?

[Ges]

Am I getting this right? The system I've been playing most is...my Wii? Seriously?

[Cyrus the virus]

Dearest Michaelz!

Phakiel lieks all of us, even though he likes to pretend he doesn't. Beneath his tough exterior lies a heart of gold and a bushel of magical, delicious berries which his aggressive demeanor must be maintained in order to protect. Phakiel has a harsh burden upon him to protect said berries, lest they be stolen and used for evil gains. He is a hero to us all.

Dearest Gesthar!

This is not right. What is wrong with you, son? Is it just Zelda and Xenoblade? I suppose that is reasonable. I just got Eternal Sonata on PS3, which is a bit meh. Might I suggest you put your Wii in Phakiel's bum to further protect aforementioned berries? It could solve your crisis.

[Phakiel]

Dear Cyrus:

So I am "going" with this chick for like a month and we still havent fucked. I realize there are relationship starts which do not go into sex mode immetiately and you have to wait a bit, but here well, I am 27 and she is 29 and probably has had more sexual partners than I have which is not to say much, and I know there is no real emotional attachment on either party, our make out sessions are quite heated up but I havent been able to seal the deal.

It has been 5 days since our last contact, we normally text and shit but since thursday I just got pissed because we have been going at it for a month now and there is no sex, and there have been some instances, I mean if a chick goes to your house and you cook for them and watch a movie, she at least need to suck dick, not say you want to go home at 7 pm.

So anyway, should I just send this to losses or call her maybe tomorrow and see whats up and possibly having to buy a stupid xmas present for a girl I dont see myself goign out for more than a couple months, and thats just if she lets me fuck the shit out of here.

Sincerely

Blue Balled Phakiel.

[scorpion]

cyrus: why does bandai not bring the rest of gundam unicorn to regular dvd?

[Devil King]

Dear Cyrus: Why is Atlas such a douche?

[Atlas]

What happened to no hostility? You're the douche.

Dear Cyrus: Will Kim Jong-Il reincarnate? If so, what as?

[Cyrus the virus]

Dear Phakiel!

This is a rare case where I will actually give reasonable advice and tell you what I'd do. So like you said, you're 27 and she is 29. You have both presumably had relationships, and stupid little 'things' where there is some miscommunication and it fizzles. Sooo. You should just ask her.

First of all I have to ask: have you 'gone for it'? While making out did you make a move and she said no? Or did you expect her to initiate and she didn't? If that's the case, chances are she was waiting for you to do the same.

So if it were me, I'd take her out for drinks or coffee or some such thing, and at some point I'd be like "So, I dig you. How come you said 'no' when I went for it?" Naturally I would not say that exact sentence as I'd try to be a bit more serious, but that's the gist of it. I can't stand having questions like that in my mind, so I'd need to ask. Whatever the answer is, you'll feel better and know whether or not you want to proceed with this girl.

If she says she was nervous or anything like that, at least you'll understand and she'll absolutely feel more comfortable next time. Promise!

Scorpion!

Gundam stuff probably doesn't sell well enough here that it's worth bringing over. You have a passion for it but it's likely not widespread enough for the company to feel it's worth it. Also, Bandai is sort of a stupid company.

Devil King, my darling!

Atlas has been through a lot here on AllRPG. He has changed positively in recent months, but I assume he can still be a bit defensive when someone teases him. I think that's natural and understandable, but to be honest, your comment in the Picture Thread was not 'ha-ha' jokey and more a ballbust. Bitches no like da ballbusting. I remember telling Karsh that he looked like a lesbian in one of his photos and he didn't take it well (nor poorly, really. He was just like "the fuck?"). If Karsh and I were e-buddies he probably would have just knocked me back, but instead it just came off badly.

Atlas!!

Calm your cock-ass. Devil King is just bugging you, so roll with it. He has faced adversity in life, as we all have, and this is something we should all keep in mind when dealing with one another! Don't take shit so serious-like.

Also, no he will not. Since that shit doesn't exist. He is dead and that's good, because he was a dirty fuckface. Rejoice!

[Phakiel]

Dear Phakiel!

This is a rare case where I will actually give reasonable advice and tell you what I'd do. So like you said, you're 27 and she is 29. You have both presumably had relationships, and stupid little 'things' where there is some miscommunication and it fizzles. Sooo. You should just ask her.

First of all I have to ask: have you 'gone for it'? While making out did you make a move and she said no? Or did you expect her to initiate and she didn't? If that's the case, chances are she was waiting for you to do the same.

So if it were me, I'd take her out for drinks or coffee or some such thing, and at some point I'd be like "So, I dig you. How come you said 'no' when I went for it?" Naturally I would not say that exact sentence as I'd try to be a bit more serious, but that's the gist of it. I can't stand having questions like that in my mind, so I'd need to ask. Whatever the answer is, you'll feel better and know whether or not you want to proceed with this girl.

If she says she was nervous or anything like that, at least you'll understand and she'll absolutely feel more comfortable next time. Promise!



Well it has been quite a bit of mess. We have actually slept together a couple times, like the first week we went out we went to a beach trip for a mutual friend and both days we ended up in bed with, well, all sort of foreplay activities going off about but the first night she basically closed up, I was DJing the shit and she grabbed my hand and said no. Second night I fell asleep because I was ridiculously high and drunk, like a lot, so I passed out, I think, while in the middle of sucking tit.

Anyway, drinks are a no no, we have similar drunken needs and one night we actually went to have dinner and turned up at a casino completely wasted out of our mind at 6 am, then i kinda kindapped her home but that time SHE fell asleep. And she didnt let me DJ either way.

Anyway, i won the battle of wits and she texted me today out of the blue. i may see to see this closed before xmas. She is going to her hometown this weekend and I am going to my grandparents so maybe friday.

On sadder news, my iphone is dying.

[Atlas]

DK was an asshole, that's that. I really don't give a shit, but the guy is an idiot for having such a loose tongue. Whatever though. Maybe I'm just a sensitive kinda guy. :p

[Devil King]

DK was an asshole, that's that. I really don't give a shit, but the guy is an idiot for having such a loose tongue. Whatever though. Maybe I'm just a sensitive kinda guy. :p

You said it best yourself.

Seriously, grow some thicker skin. I'm not saying this as an "asshole" or a "jerk" - I'm saying this as a friend. It would help if you didn't get so butthurt about everything someone said about you. My comments could have been completely more offensive and hurtful if I was out for blood, trust me. I meant NO harm, yet you took it that way. I will say what I want, when I want, but I'm always tactful when I say things despite your opinion of me (since you scarcely know me). It would also help if you didn't think of me as a jerk, because I'm not. Somehow you've always thought of me as a jerk on here, though. Fine and dandy.

Dear Cyrus: Why am I addicted to Youtube?

[Atlas]

I just find you coy and frustrating. Much the same as I found Hyde. Regardless, I'm dropping it.

[Devil King]

*hugs Atlas* :)

[Phakiel]

WOAH you did not just compare DK to Hyde, I mean seriously man?

[Atlas]

Yeah. I did.

PROBLEM?

EAwWPadFsOA

[Phakiel]

Go fuck yourself. Stop being a dick.

[CoolOtaku]

I feel like I always laugh at the wrong things here. Stop confusing me!

[Atlas]

Go fuck yourself. Stop being a dick.

Alright. I apologize, DK.

[Devil King]

It's okay, I apologize if I offended you in any way.

:)

[Cyrus the virus]

Phakky, maybe try going out with her once without drinking too much. Dunno what to tell ya. Good luck, though?

Also Atlas you be a baby. Yalls gots to calm down, as much as I love a bit of drama.

Ahhh!

[Atlas]

Yeah. We got it.

[Phakiel]

Phakky, maybe try going out with her once without drinking too much. Dunno what to tell ya. Good luck, though?

Also Atlas you be a baby. Yalls gots to calm down, as much as I love a bit of drama.

Ahhh!

We didnt see each other today but maybe tmorrow well have a nice brunch or something, we both are gonna get hammered with our respective families and tomorrow, i had to give her her present for which i spent way too much money for someone i have been seeing for a month and havent fucked, but its not the worst i have done for a pair of tits since i am idiot im these matters.

[Atlas]

You've been going out for how long without the lay?

[Phakiel]

A month, not steady yet of course but yeah pretty much.

[Atlas]

You'll get it those tits.

Er.. you understand.

[Phakiel]

I already had the tits, its the south that I am yet to conquer.

[Atlas]

Weird. Try holding the tits ransom.

[Phakiel]

I am gonna try and do some carpeting and work my way in.

[Cyrus the virus]

THIS THREAD STILL EXISTS

[CoolOtaku]

Dear Cyrus,

Why is Monster Hunter so damn fun?! And how have you been?

Sincerely,
Your Friend

[Ges]

Dear Cyrus,

Why are all my childhood crushes from grade school old and ugly now? Was I a bad judge of looks back in the day? Would I be on Facebook more if they weren't hags?

- Sir Ges

[Less Than Liz]

Dear Cyrus,

Why are all my childhood crushes from grade school old and ugly now? Was I a bad judge of looks back in the day? Would I be on Facebook more if they weren't hags?

- Sir Ges
It took me a moment to realize you were talking about Real People. I was like, Oleynik looks EXACTLY the same.

[Cyrus the virus]

I will get to these! No mood for deep insight tonight. Indeed.