Breakups

[Indigo]

Soo... as some of you are aware I'm going to break up with my current girlfriend. Some time next week probably. I really don't want to but I kind of have to... :(

I'm doing it because we're gonna me living days away. And i don't do long distance relationships.

Well actually I was gonna break up with her next week because I'm going on holiday and then right after I'm going to start university. However my university might require me to miss my vacation which means I would have the whole house to myself, which means she could probably come over here and stay for a few days.

I don't think I can do it though. We were fabricated for each other, that's how it feels right now. If I lose her I'll feel like I'm only half of something that should be whole.

I figured i could breakup early so we can have our time to moan and cry and get over each other before university starts so we can probably find something new when we get there.

I don't want to do it though :(

[Mary]

I'd wait till right before University so you'll have somthing to distract you from your misery

When I was in 11th grade I moved to India. Because of that I ended it with guy i was with at the time. I thought he was pretty much perfect for me, but long distance stuff hardly ever works. Well when i moved back to Georgia we ended up getting back together and it was great for about a month then I realized we never really were all that good for each other so we broke up on good terms with good closure. I dunno if that gives you any hope, but y'all might still end up together on day.

Good luck with everything though. Does she know it's coming?

[Indigo]

I'd wait till right before University so you'll have somthing to distract you from your misery

When I was in 11th grade I moved to India. Because of that I ended it with guy i was with at the time. I thought he was pretty much perfect for me, but long distance stuff hardly ever works. Well when i moved back to Georgia we ended up getting back together and it was great for about a month then I realized we never really were all that good for each other so we broke up on good terms with good closure. I dunno if that gives you any hope, but y'all might still end up together on day.

Good luck with everything though. Does she know it's coming?

That sucks =[


Yeah, she knows, we've been talking about it like " you do know we wont be able to see each other after September" and she said "I know". But we don't talk about it much. We don't want to think about it. The little time we have together is precious... But i fell in love with this girl, and I don't think I'll ever stop loving her.

[Mary]

It didn't suck, It worked out perfectly. I was miserable for the first while after we broke up, but it was nice to find out that we really weren't perfect for each other after all.

Yeah, have you thought about not even officially breaking up? Instead just going your different ways and not talking anymore? Or even attempting the long distance thing even though you don't think it will work out?

[Indigo]

It didn't suck, It worked out perfectly. I was miserable for the first while after we broke up, but it was nice to find out that we really weren't perfect for each other after all.

Yeah, have you thought about not even officially breaking up? Instead just going your different ways and not talking anymore? Or even attempting the long distance thing even though you don't think it will work out?

oh okie dokie =]


yeah I should probably try that "/

[charolastra00]

Yeah, have you thought about not even officially breaking up? Instead just going your different ways and not talking anymore? Or even attempting the long distance thing even though you don't think it will work out?

That's the worst thing a person can do. I had 2 guys I really cared about do that to me before and it ruined my life for 6 months each and really means now that I have no trust in other human beings. Basically, people who do that are the shit of the Earth to me. If I ever see Jared or Sam again, they're going to walk out with a broken bone- if they're lucky. The hatred I have towards people who play headgames like that is beyond comprehension.

Make a clean break. Leaving things ambiguous makes life a living hell for the other person. I'm all about honesty in relationships and I expect the same from any person I see- even in ending the relationship. If you care about this girl at all or about your own dignity, clearly define the breakup. Don't leave it hanging and both of you wondering.

And I'm not just blowing it out my arse either. I get back from Iceland on Saturday and will have about a month with the guy I was seeing before we have to end it. We've discussed it and have set boundaries up for once I move to Mexico and England.

[Brokensouls91]

Uh, Ow?

On a lighter note, Emanuel, I'm not in the same boat as you yet, but I think you should at least try the long distance. You know it most likely won't work, but if you and this girl feel that strongly about each other then maybe you can pull through this relationship, and if not, letting your feelings slowly rust would soften the blow of when you have to break up...

[Mary]

That's the worst thing a person can do. I had 2 guys I really cared about do that to me before and it ruined my life for 6 months each and really means now that I have no trust in other human beings. Basically, people who do that are the shit of the Earth to me. If I ever see Jared or Sam again, they're going to walk out with a broken bone- if they're lucky. The hatred I have towards people who play headgames like that is beyond comprehension.

Make a clean break. Leaving things ambiguous makes life a living hell for the other person. I'm all about honesty in relationships and I expect the same from any person I see- even in ending the relationship. If you care about this girl at all or about your own dignity, clearly define the breakup. Don't leave it hanging and both of you wondering.

And I'm not just blowing it out my arse either. I get back from Iceland on Saturday and will have about a month with the guy I was seeing before we have to end it. We've discussed it and have set boundaries up for once I move to Mexico and England.

Actually I disagree with you. I think ending things without actually having to have the breakup talk is great. I hate the breakup talk because i feel like i'm supposed to cry or somthing and I never really seem to. I prefer to just move on without our last time together being depressing.

[Brokensouls91]

I'm with Melliandra, Sometimes it just has to be quick and dirty without a whole conversation to back it up...

[Jarrid]

Oh, man. Do not even get me started.

This morning, I apparently am able to break up with somebody when we had been already broken up. I would go in detail about what happened, but I am tired of talking about it because I explained myself to her I do not know how many damn times tonight. As Nietzsche said in Beyond Good and Evil: "Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent."

*ahem*

Not all of you nice ladies are like that, though. :)

[Indigo]

I'm not sure what to do now.

Uh... well I think she already knows we're breaking up soon enough. neither of us want to. But I don't think I can keep it going forever. I think I might as well move on. Although it will be difficult.

Uh... I don't know what to dooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! should I just do it right now?? Should I wait a few months??

[Mary]

Wait a few months. Why be miserible without her before you have to? I think she'd prefer it too.

[Indigo]

I could talk to her about it and see when she wants to end it... is that acceptable?

[Mary]

I don't see why not. I mean it might be nice to see what she wants. Personally I had confrontation so I'd avoid it as long as possible but if you feel ok talking about it, i think it's a sweet idea.

[Indigo]

I don't see why not. I mean it might be nice to see what she wants. Personally I had confrontation so I'd avoid it as long as possible but if you feel ok talking about it, i think it's a sweet idea.

I'll take that in consideration...

Uh do girls get annoyed when you break up with them over the Internet?

[Jarrid]

I have a good friend that was seeing a girl. They hit it off really well and had a lot of great things in common. They were not boyfriend/girlfriend, but they were still very close and had a sexual relationship, which is what my friend really needed. He found out that she was moving away in two months. He completely lost it and broke it off with her the day he found out, and he decided it was best just not to see each other. The girl was pretty upset. Because she thought before she would leave, she would get to spend the rest of those two months with him and have a great time.

Now I know you are not a jackass like my friend is, Fallen, and I know you two are actually in a relationship with each other. Like Mell, said, keep things going while you still have time. There is no need to break up now, unless you just feel like it is absolutely beneficiary for the both of you. Here is a quote that helps me when I cannot decide about something important, and maybe it will help you:

"Any path is only a path, and there is no affront, to oneself or to others, in dropping it if that is what your heart tells you. . . Look at every path closely and deliberately. Try it as many times as necessary. Then ask yourself, and yourself alone, one question. . . Does this path have a heart? If it does, the path is good; if it does not it is of no use." - Carlos Castenada (The Teachings of Don Juan)

I hope things go well for you, Fallen.

EDIT: Fallen, that is not a good idea at all. Do it in person if you can. I remember you telling me she lives a bit away, so if at all possible, use a telephone. I had to do it that way.

[Mary]

Girls get angry when boys break up with them online or via text message. And never break up with her voicemail box.

[Cyrus the virus]

I didn't read the whole thread, so I'm sorry if I'm just repeating stuff.

I don't think I can do it though. We were fabricated for each other, that's how it feels right now. If I lose her I'll feel like I'm only half of something that should be whole.

Yeah, if you really thought this you wouldn't be breaking up with her due to impending distance.

I have a lot of experience in breaking up with people. Generally, it's appreciated when you do it in person and explain shit. It doesn't have to take long or anything. Just say you don't think it's going to work with you living so far from each other, or something. You shouldn't suggest getting back together when and if you move back home.

[Indigo]

I have a good friend that was seeing a girl. They hit it off really well and had a lot of great things in common. They were not boyfriend/girlfriend, but they were still very close and had a sexual relationship, which is what my friend really needed. He found out that she was moving away in two months. He completely lost it and broke it off with her the day he found out, and he decided it was best just not to see each other. The girl was pretty upset. Because she thought before she would leave, she would get to spend the rest of those two months with him and have a great time.

Now I know you are not a jackass like my friend is, Fallen, and I know you two are actually in a relationship with each other. Like Mell, said, keep things going while you still have time. There is no need to break up now, unless you just feel like it is absolutely beneficiary for the both of you. Here is a quote that helps me when I cannot decide about something important, and maybe it will help you:

"Any path is only a path, and there is no affront, to oneself or to others, in dropping it if that is what your heart tells you. . . Look at every path closely and deliberately. Try it as many times as necessary. Then ask yourself, and yourself alone, one question. . . Does this path have a heart? If it does, the path is good; if it does not it is of no use." - Carlos Castenada (The Teachings of Don Juan)

I hope things go well for you, Fallen.

EDIT: Fallen, that is not a good idea at all. Do it in person if you can. I remember you telling me she lives a bit away, so if at all possible, use a telephone. I had to do it that way.

These are some wise words master Jarrid, thank you =D

And I'll do it in person. The reason why I asked about the online thing is that if we did carry on acting like we were together after we move away it would be hard to break up in person, unless I want to spend over ?70 for a train...(I could buy two airplane tickets to Spain or something instead, it would be much cheaper). i guess there's no price for love.

[Atlas]

Whenever a breakup occurs in my life, I tend to stop talking to the other party without hesitence, since my breakups also tend to be fairly complicated, unfortunately.

[Void]

Not long ago, I broke up with one of the girls I've been seeing. It was easy. I just stopped talking to her. Even easier, as I have no feelings for her.

[charolastra00]

Not long ago, I broke up with one of the girls I've been seeing. It was easy. I just stopped talking to her. Even easier, as I have no feelings for her.

That makes you a shitastic human being. Really, I'm not even being sarcastic. I ****ing hate assholes that pull that. If you're not mature enough to end something properly, then you're not mature enough to be dating.

[Atlas]

He's obviously mature enough to get LAID.

Hahaha.

[Indigo]

He's obviously mature enough to get LAID.

Hahaha.

with comments like that, who are you do judge maturity?

(I kid)

[Devil King]

I don't prefer the ambiguity.

I want a clean and concise break-up. I don't want to be left wondering what the f*** happened. It's happened to me numerous times, and I'm left with bitter contempt for those individuals.

[Mark]

you know out of all the girls I have been with...there was only one I would consider a real relationship, and well we broke up because 1 she cheated on me, and 2 because...well really it was just the 1. but for some reason we did try to work out our differences...it just always ended badly until she came over at 3 in the morning and we ****ed till 6 in the morning, and the next few weeks we both feared pregnancy becasue my dumb ass let my love juice stay in cause I thought she was still on the pill...after that we rarely talked to each other, and she emailed me the other day and I told her in a nice polite way to leave me the **** alone for good...only I really did say it in a gental kind heart warmed manner. yeah relationships suck, I pretty much given up on them for a good while. single is just getting more experience anyway.

[Devil King]

I was tricked by a female that was attracted to me a while back. She claimed she 'was on the pill'. I abstained from having sexual intercourse with her.

Lucky me, about a month later I heard she f***ed some other guy and became pregnant.

I pity her. Not really.

[Cyrus the virus]

Threads like this confirm that I'm a pretty awesome guy. Thanks, douchebags!!!!

[Indigo]

Threads like this confirm that I'm a pretty awesome guy. Thanks, douchebags!!!!

how so?

[Atlas]

Threads like this confirm that I'm a pretty awesome guy. Thanks, douchebags!!!!

You a douche ya douche. Don't blame your douchiness on the fact that you be a douchemasterdeluxe.

Douche!

[Cyrus the virus]

how so?

I break up with women like a reasonable person would and get laid :cool:

I sit at the cool table.

[Baby]

Not long ago, I broke up with one of the girls I've been seeing. It was easy. I just stopped talking to her. Even easier, as I have no feelings for her.
You never came across that big of a jackass before.




As for you, FE, have you considered other alternatives (to break up that is)?

[Liam McDohl]

Threads like this confirm that I'm a pretty awesome guy. Thanks, douchebags!!!!

Indeed. Why, you've even the great virtue of humility!

Fallen, I expect you've already made your choice, but I'll advise you anyway: what you're feeling is probably very intense and may even seem irreplaceable, but you should know that if you do break it off you'll probably think of it as nothing too special after a while. You're not going to become an embittered husk who can never love again if you do break up with her, basically; you should just weigh up whether the relationship's worth all the hassle of being long-distance as seperately from your actual feelings as possible, if you see what I mean.

[Data]

I've spent 4 years total (longest stretch was 2 years) of my relationship away from my husband. I think I'm kinda rare in that it doesn't really bother me. I have little to no interest in other guys and I am a sexual camel. I like sleeping alone and doing what I want when I want to.

He does not handle it so well. I don't want to make him come off like a sissy so I'll just leave it at that.

So, basically, if you're like me, a long distance relationship isn't so bad. I find I have less to argue about. But if you're like my husband, don't even think about doing the long distance thing. Make a clean break and don't screw around when you are back in town for a weekend.

Speaking of long distance, I graduate Friday and will be returning home to my husband. I've been in Illinois while he's in Tennessee for the past year. Its going to be a big adjustment for me going back to married life. I'm excited, yet sad to leave my "single" life. I love him, but I love me time. Ah well, such is life.

[Devil King]

I have tons of respect for you, Data.

[Cyrus the virus]

Indeed. Why, you've even the great virtue of humility!

Nobody appreciates or values humility anyway.

[Indigo]

Indeed. Why, you've even the great virtue of humility!

Fallen, I expect you've already made your choice, but I'll advise you anyway: what you're feeling is probably very intense and may even seem irreplaceable, but you should know that if you do break it off you'll probably think of it as nothing too special after a while. You're not going to become an embittered husk who can never love again if you do break up with her, basically; you should just weigh up whether the relationship's worth all the hassle of being long-distance as seperately from your actual feelings as possible, if you see what I mean.

Thanks for that. It's comforting, I thought of how I would react afterward and realized exactly what you said, but I think i kind of needed to hear it from someone else to be certain.

I've spent 4 years total (longest stretch was 2 years) of my relationship away from my husband. I think I'm kinda rare in that it doesn't really bother me. I have little to no interest in other guys and I am a sexual camel. I like sleeping alone and doing what I want when I want to.

He does not handle it so well. I don't want to make him come off like a sissy so I'll just leave it at that.

So, basically, if you're like me, a long distance relationship isn't so bad. I find I have less to argue about. But if you're like my husband, don't even think about doing the long distance thing. Make a clean break and don't screw around when you are back in town for a weekend.

Speaking of long distance, I graduate Friday and will be returning home to my husband. I've been in Illinois while he's in Tennessee for the past year. Its going to be a big adjustment for me going back to married life. I'm excited, yet sad to leave my "single" life. I love him, but I love me time. Ah well, such is life.

I think it's a little different with me. I feel like we're still too your to feel committed to each other that much.

[Data]

I have tons of respect for you, Data.
Thank you

Yeah, Fallen, I understand you guys aren't thinking marriage or anything right now. But our first year apart was my senior year of high school, before we were thinking marriage either. You just never know!

[Indigo]

Thank you

Yeah, Fallen, I understand you guys aren't thinking marriage or anything right now. But our first year apart was my senior year of high school, before we were thinking marriage either. You just never know!

wow. Hmm... I don't know...

I should probably have made a poll for this =s

[Matron]

No, because polling us doesn't really have anything to do with what you feel inside. Only you can know if the relationship is worth trying to carry on long distance, all we can do is offer opinions and ideas. For some people, the long distance thing works, for others, it doesn't. You never really know how it'll be for you until you try.

[Atlas]

Actually, Data, I think about marriage all of the time. And yes, I think about its relevancy to me and possible woman.

[Matron]

Marriage is HARD.

You'll just be going along thinking everything is fine, and then all of a sudden you are fighting over stupid shit like you not wanting to watch a movie.

[Mary]

Marriage is scary.

[Mark]

No, because polling us doesn't really have anything to do with what you feel inside. Only you can know if the relationship is worth trying to carry on long distance, all we can do is offer opinions and ideas. For some people, the long distance thing works, for others, it doesn't. You never really know how it'll be for you until you try.

yeah I agree with dire here. dude seriously. look inside and find how you feel about her in all. if its something that may spark down the line then dont even bother with the breakup. turst me if there is one thing I know, if you can deal with a long distance relationship you can deal with any kind of relationship...because long distance ones show how you two really feel about each other. my case my ex couldn't handle it so she cheated on me. I was heartbroken so bad I pretty much lost some of my sanity for awhile, let me tell you, but looking back now I say whatever she was just not right for me. point is dont break it off because of distance, you never know if you have something real until you give it a shot.

[Data]

wow. Hmm... I don't know...

I should probably have made a poll for this =s

Hah. I'm just telling you how things went for me. Everyone else was shouting, "Long distance relationships never work!" so I gave you another view of it.

I assumed you already made up your mind to break up with her anyway. You're probably going to have to look harder to find a woman who's willing to let you use all her hair product. :D

[Mark]

I never said long distance relationships never work. I actually know quite a few people who sustain a long distance relationship.

[Devil King]

I'm looking forward to marriage.

[Mark]

yeah I would like to get married too...but really I dont trust a single women these days...I really want to start a family before I turn 25 though.

[Phakiel]

Right about now, and for the next 6 years at least, marriage is the last thing on my mind.

Funny thing, this lady that works for a client, she is assitant to the CEO of the local branch of the corporation, and we were on Board Meetings yesterday and after we were finished she was talking to me and asked if I was already married and I just cracked up and said "Hell no!".

I dont know if its because I come from a broken home but I have little respect to the institution of marriage. I will eventually marry sure, but just because its the next thing to do in life after working and leaving youth behind and because for women is still a wonderful thing and like going shopping for 3 hours for a pair of shoes, its something men just have to suck up.

Also, I am working on my very own badass prenuptial agreement.

[Mark]

nice, you know what they say prenup means you cant stab me in the back bitch!

[Phakiel]

Exactly. This friend says that prenups are the worst things ever invented. I dont really see why its so preposterous to think of a prenup. See, its like Martin Lawrence said, imagine you come to marriage with 2 million dollars and your wife comes with a bag, should she have 1 million just to be your wife? Where is the feminist movement? I thought we were already beyond the idea of housewives. Hell, my two bosses are women.

It occurs to me that no matter what feminist say and how succesful women can be these days, women will never contend to being able to take that million dollars, the car, the house, the kids, your balls and dignity.

[Mark]

but the big thins is your balls...im so glad I got mine back from my ex...bitch had them sealed in a jar for far too long...

[Suitcase]

I met someone, fell in love, got married and got divorced all within a year.

[Mark]

that sucks.

[Phakiel]

I met someone, fell in love, got married and got divorced all within a year.

I bet his name was Barry. All Barrys are assholes.

Also, Enriques.

[Suitcase]

Not really sucky. And his name was Richard. All Richards are dicks.

More on topic though, some people deal with long distance better than others. It could make the relationship stronger but if you are already thinking of breaking up then I suspect you gave it all a long thought. I am puzzled why you picked next week rather than telling her right from the moment you decided. Maybe I missed something?

[Mark]

because it seems to me that in reality he is not sure if it will work out but he would like it to. ha this is why I stopped dating. too much drama, and not enough fun.

[Cyrus the virus]

People need to be taught that you need more than love to decide to marry someone.

[Mark]

yeah I learned that head on. then I slammed right into a brick wall...

[Data]

All Richards are dicks . . . ahaha.

I think FE hasn't broken it off yet because he still wants to tap that.

[Mark]

yeah that would be a wise thing to do.

[Suitcase]

People need to be taught that all you need is true love to marry someone. Not lust. Not sex. Love: understanding and mutual compromise.

Data, good point! Shame on you FE.

[Mark]

yeah I dont believe in it anymore Love is a false hope set to expire time and unseen lies and deciept.

[Suitcase]

Why did she dump you?

[Mary]

I think it takes having compatible habits and goals to make a marriage work. You can't just marry someone because you love them. You have to think about the long term picture. If I got married to the last guy I was in love with I'd be the sole bread winner and house keeper while he sat around stoned all day trying to write a book. It wouldn't have worked in the long run even with love. I would have gotten a great record collection out of the marriage though. And I'm a total fan of prenups. I plan on having one before I get married. ;)

[Cyrus the virus]

People need to be taught that all you need is true love to marry someone. Not lust. Not sex. Love: understanding and mutual compromise.

Data, good point! Shame on you FE.

You're an awesome new member and all, but you are dead wrong. You can love someone while you're an immature ****, after all, but it doesn't mean you should be married. People fall in love and marry before they:

A) Know themselves fully
B) Mature the **** up
C) Have a career

And a whole bunch of other things I can't think of. Love isn't enough, but it's a lovely thought to believe it is. I loved my ex, I really did and she was my whole world at the time, but if I'd married her... Well, holy shit.

You know those people who break up with people they love, because they know they shouldn't be with them? Those are smart people. I admire those people.

[Matron]

He's right, you do need more than just love. My husband and I love each other, we have a lot in common, and it's still hard as hell, we still have to work at it, and we still make each other miserable a lot of the time.

Also, I think it should be against the law to get married before you are 25, maybe even 30. There's still just so much you have to learn, about life, about yourself, who you want to be. It's hard to learn all that and learn how to live with someone else at the same time.

If I could do it all over again, I'd do things so much different. I'd have waited at least another year or two, settled myself into some kind of career, not rushed the kid thing so fast, especially not 2 kids in 2 years. I wouldn't take anything in the world for my family, but it could have been so much better if I had been smarter about things.

[Atlas]

Yeah. You need life insurance, too; it's because your wife will probably end up killing you.

[Suitcase]

You're an awesome new member and all, but you are dead wrong. You can love someone while you're an immature ****, after all, but it doesn't mean you should be married. People fall in love and marry before they:

A) Know themselves fully
B) Mature the **** up
C) Have a career

And a whole bunch of other things I can't think of. Love isn't enough, but it's a lovely thought to believe it is. I loved my ex, I really did and she was my whole world at the time, but if I'd married her... Well, holy shit.

You know those people who break up with people they love, because they know they shouldn't be with them? Those are smart people. I admire those people.


I suppose we will agree to disagree.

[Indigo]

Not really sucky. And his name was Richard. All Richards are dicks.

More on topic though, some people deal with long distance better than others. It could make the relationship stronger but if you are already thinking of breaking up then I suspect you gave it all a long thought. I am puzzled why you picked next week rather than telling her right from the moment you decided. Maybe I missed something?

well, one - I'm not really sure of what to do yet and two - I want to spend as much time with her as I can before we breakup.

All Richards are dicks . . . ahaha.

I think FE hasn't broken it off yet because he still wants to tap that.

we're being abstinent. It really gives room to explore each other's personality.


I guess I never saw this relationship as a huge thing. I'm one of those people who makes plans, and I planned to count all of my high school relationships as just relationships for experience and them maybe meet someone in university.

[Mark]

Why did she dump you?

she didn't I did, because she cheated on my while I was out at sea. because me and her had a small argument about something.

[Cyrus the virus]

I suppose we will agree to disagree.

Or you'll have a miserable experience in a few years and you'll learn then, rather than now.

[DrunkSwashbuckler]

Cyrus, honey-bunch, I love you, but I agree with the blonde.

Edit: Take note! This is the most USELESS post I've ever created! Yet the pointing out of said fact may add more utility to this comment than needed, ergo pushing it beyond some other inane post made previously, meaning that this post is even MORE useless, bringing it back the crown of the pointless scale that it lost nary one sentence ago!!

Oh, glorious recursive logic, I adore you!

[Mary]

Well I agree with Cyrus.

[DrunkSwashbuckler]

Pffft, what a useless post.

[Lodis]

No more useless than this one.

[DrunkSwashbuckler]

I'm glad we're all on the same page.

[Suitcase]

I have already been through enough and coming out of a marriage and collecting the broken pieces, I still can say that no future experiences can change my opinion. It's just an agreement to disagree.

[Devil King]

I too, agree with Suitcase.

Love is the basis on which marriage is formed. All other things are trivial and come second (yes, that even means their bank account). Sorry folks, but love is of more import.

[Atlas]

Dayumm... No wonder I've avoided this thread. Draaammaaaa....

[Mary]

I too, agree with Suitcase.

Love is the basis on which marriage is formed. All other things are trivial and come second (yes, that even means their bank account). Sorry folks, but love is of more import.

I'm not saying love isn't the most important thing, i'm just saying it shouldn't be the only thing involved in making the decision to get married. A marriage can't stay together founded solely on love. And i'm not talking about bank aco****s. i'm talking about similar morals, belifs, goals, etc.

[Devil King]

I'm not saying love isn't the most important thing

However, I believe you are simeoultaneously saying it's not the most important thing.

[Mary]

no, it's THE most important thing, but it's not the only thing. You can't marry someone just because you love them and exspect it to work.

[LagDragon]

You know those people who break up with people they love, because they know they shouldn't be with them? Those are smart people. I admire those people.

Same here. I sometimes wish I could be that strong.

[Indigo]

I myself think about marriage but it's really too soon. I don't wanna pull a Mormon American and marry when I'm 18. I see myself getting married at the age of 26-30.

Although I love this girl a LOT I really don't see this going anywhere if we're going to be away from each other. So I think I made my decision, I'm gonna have to finish this. and the sooner the better I'd say. If we both know it's about time we breakup then I'm not gonna put this one on hold for longer than it needs to be. It's gonna be extremely painful but both of us have our own lives and the sooner we get over this and get started on own as individuals the sooner we can get on with our lives and forget the past.

[Cyrus the virus]

Cyrus, honey-bunch, I love you

Awwwwwwwwwww!

Love is the basis on which marriage is formed. All other things are trivial and come second (yes, that even means their bank account). Sorry folks, but love is of more import.

Who in this thread said otherwise?

[Devil King]

Who in this thread said otherwise?

No one in particular, just trying to make a point.

[King Zeal]

I understand what both Cyrus and Suitcase are saying, and both have valid points.

The problem is that "love" is incredibly vague. If two sixteen-year-olds meet one-another and become infatuated within a week, does that equal love? Should they (assuming it's legal) get married? If not, at what point should they consider it? A month? Six months? When they turn 18? At what point can a person accurately state that their infatuation for another is true love?

[Cyrus the virus]

Well, even if you're in a relationship where both of you truly love each other, that doesn't mean you should get married. You can still be totally wrong for each other, and sometimes recognizing that will keep you from having to figure it out 10 years down the road.

Love works strangely in that you can love somebody who really drives you batty (even before marriage or any serious issues come up). People shouldn't stay in a relationship like that, even if they are in love.

[Matron]

Exactly. Love is wonderful, but there is so much more to marriage. There is habits- one of you might be a night owl, while the other one isn't, one might like to cuddle while the other one doesn't, one of you might like junk food while the other prefers healthy food, one of you might want lots of kids while the other one doesn't, one of you might be extremely neat and the other fairly messy. All these things seem like little things compared to love, but it's the little things that can start to wear on you, and drive you apart over time. And they are only a small piece of where people can differ in life and personality, and that's assuming that you or your love don't change over the years. You might find yourself with a completely different person than the one you married several years down the road.

Love is very important, and any marriage without love is doomed to failure, but there are so many other things to consider before you decide to share a life together.

[Devil King]

Love is all you need.

:p

[JustATemp]

long distance relationships aren't the bane of existance, you know. they're really not so bad. absence makes the heart grow fonder, in some cases. like with me, i'd never had a girlfiriend before sofy, and we were in different parts of the world, her in the carribean, me in the.. well, canada jr. but we stuck it out and now i'm happily living with her and it looks like it's going to work out in the long run, too.

[Cyrus the virus]

Love is all you need.

:p

You know this from your vast experience, I presume!

[Indigo]

Breaking up with her tomorrow.

Wish me luck!

[Jarrid]

Well, I hope it goes over well.

I just told my ex to never try and get in touch with me again. She asked me if I wanted to talk about things, and before I could reply with yes, she sent me another text telling me how pointless it would be because I do not give a shit about her, and she would not of had anything to say back to me. Good job. :)

[Cyrus the virus]

Breaking up with her tomorrow.

Wish me luck!

You can do it! Good luck, buddy. *fist pump*

Meph, that girl sounds marvelous! You sure lost a catch, there.

[Matron]

Breaking up with her tomorrow.

Wish me luck!

I'm not real sure this is a place where wishing luck applies. "Good luck breaking that girl's heart! You go, dude!"

Oh, here's hoping she doesn't take it too badly, cause a scene, and make you feel worse. Is that good enough?

[Indigo]

Hey her heart is not the only one that will be broken, it has to be done. and she'd breakup with me anyway, and never did a girl break up with me and I plan to keep that record.

But it's not about those silly little things. It's best this way.

Edit: we'll have a calm talk because any conclusions.

[Matron]

I didn't mean to sound cold and uncaring, I know that this is hard for you too. *hugs*

[Jarrid]

"You're as coooold as ice! Willing to sacrifice our love!"

Had to throw in some Foreigner.

[Indigo]

"You're as coooold as ice! Willing to sacrifice our love!"

Had to throw in some Foreigner.

I loled.

[Void]

If you're not mature enough to end something properly, then you're not mature enough to be dating.

That may be so, but it does not hinder me. And I feel little guilt, if any.

You never came across that big of a jackass before.

And before, I wasn't satisfied with my sex life. Now I am. *shrugs*

[Indigo]

And before, I wasn't satisfied with my sex life. Now I am. *shrugs*

Honestly some girls have such bad taste.

I kid.

[Void]

:D

I'm actually a really good catch. I'm a clean freak, and cook really well. And I do lots of fun things. But I'm not that good in bed. :(

[Indigo]

:D

I'm actually a really good catch. I'm a clean freak, and cook really well. And I do lots of fun things. But I'm not that good in bed. :(



:eek::eek::eek: HOLD THE PHONE!!!

Void is not good in bed? WHAT HAS THE WORLD COME TO?

[Mary]

how does one determine if they're "good in bed" or not? Did a girl actually come out and tell you you weren't?

And i think the not being good in bed part no longer makes you a good catch ;)

hehe, i joke. Well mostly...

[Jarrid]

Mel. . . it is Tom, though. Jeeez.

[Phakiel]

I concur. Void is not that good in bed.

[Cyrus the virus]

If you're good in bed, it's very easy to tell.

[Jarrid]

I concur. Void is not that good in bed.

Hey, now. I was defending Tom. :p

[Mary]

I mean it's easy for the other person to tell if the person they're sleeping with is good or not. I didn't know there was a way guys knew if they were or weren't though because if definetly met a few who weren't and thought they were.

[Matron]

But you can always work at being better. That's the thing about sex, it's not the sort of thing that can never improve. :D And practice is half the fun!

[Mary]

I think some people are a lost cause.

[Jarrid]

I agree with you on that, Mel.

[Cyrus the virus]

I figure if you aren't doing enough to make your current bedmate happy, you'll know it. But it's a slippery slope.

[Mary]

I was unsatisfied for 5 months with a guy once. I used to coach him and try to help him out but there is only so much a guy can do for you in 3 minutes (which was a record for him). The funny thing is he dumped me for another girl then tried to come crawling back because she wouldn't have sex with him. Turns out she was cheating on him because he didn't satisfy her. It was a long, drawn out drama I didn’t have the patience for. But yeah, I think he’s a pretty lost cause.

[Indigo]

But you can always work at being better.

you hear that guys? start doing your cock push ups.

[Matron]

So, did you do it yet? The breakup I mean..

[Indigo]

No, it's still morning, I plan on doing it after dinner.

Or should I say, over dinner. I'm taking her out to this restaurant. It's usually not so crowded so if she makes a scene I'm safe.

[Matron]

Ok, I wasn't sure about the time over there. I hope things...work out? You know what I mean, right? Just that you (and she) are ok afterwards.

[Indigo]

Ok, I wasn't sure about the time over there. I hope things...work out? You know what I mean, right? Just that you (and she) are ok afterwards.

Oh yeah totally. But I don't know if I'll let her see any other guys again.

I kid

[Indigo]

I'm back from the dinner.

That was so hard to do :(

Okay so we had Chinese, the food was nice. I was really surprised at her reaction. She took it calmly. after the meal we sat there and talked. I took her hand and spoke calmly, I don't remember correctly but it went a little something like this: "I love you, but I think it's time we realize we can't be together for long. We're still too young and you're too beautiful to be stuck with a guy like me. I just think we should end this, so we don't suffer heartbreak when we part our separate ways.". Her eyes were wide open at this point, but she was speechless. When her eyes began to water I realized we couldn't continue our conversation in the restaurant, so we left and sat on a bench outside. She embraced me, and I her and we just sat there without a word for 3 minutes. Eventually she opened her mouth and said "... I understand". I thought she knew this was coming but judging by her reaction I realized she didn't want it to be so soon. We got a taxi to her house. I walked her to the door and gave her my last kiss. Funny this is just how we started. I got took the taxi home. and here I am.

I realized we didn't talk much but I think we said enough. But actions speak louder than words.

I think it went well. Did it?

I'm gonna visit her tomorrow in the morning or the day after so see how she is. I think i still have a lot of explaining to do.

[Phakiel]

I still think you need to tap it before you leave. If you dont,t hen she is gonna give into another dude, probably an asshole, somebody named Stephen, all Stephens are assholes, this is a fact. Then she will regret it for her entire life, and when you come back to her, she is gonna cry and punch you because you made her fall for Stephen's charms, andshe is gonna hate you forever and ever.

[sheeP]

interesting theory

[Indigo]

I still think you need to tap it before you leave. If you dont,t hen she is gonna give into another dude, probably an asshole, somebody named Stephen, all Stephens are assholes, this is a fact. Then she will regret it for her entire life, and when you come back to her, she is gonna cry and punch you because you made her fall for Stephen's charms, andshe is gonna hate you forever and ever.

I'm not gonna come back to her. we just broke up :S

[sheeP]

Just warn her about Stephen then :)

[Indigo]

Just warn her about Stephen then :)

I'll probably mention that when I see her tomorrow.

[Phakiel]

I'm not gonna come back to her. we just broke up :S

Thats what you say. But what if she becomes one of your top five, uh? Have you considered that? Like when you are a full grown men and own a vinyl record store and you get dumped for a guy named Ian with a ponytail, and you start to evaluate your life and relationships, you will eventually visit your top five and she is gonna be there, hurt, destroyed by ****ing Stephen.

SHAME ON YOU!

[Indigo]

Thats what you say. But what if she becomes one of your top five, uh? Have you considered that? Like when you are a full grown men and own a vinyl record store and you get dumped for a guy named Ian with a ponytail, and you start to evaluate your life and relationships, you will eventually visit your top five and she is gonna be there, hurt, destroyed by ****ing Stephen.

SHAME ON YOU!

Isn't that from a movie? "high fidelity" or something.


She'll definitely be on my top 5, she's currently in first place.

[Phakiel]

See? I was right.

[Poofy]

Just remember the 5 F's.

Find her. Feel her. Finger her. **** her. Forget her.

[Indigo]

Just remember the 5 F's.

Find her. Feel her. Finger her. **** her. Forget her.
I don't go by those rules.

[Poofy]

I don't either, but if you WERE man whore, that'd be the code to live by.

[Phakiel]

You know, we are giving you words of wisdom and you are being pretty damn disgraceful. I wish I had a bunch of strangers I met at an internet videogames forum telling me what to do about my life and relationships when I was your age.

You disgust me, get out of my house.

[Cyrus the virus]

I still think you need to tap it before you leave. If you dont,t hen she is gonna give into another dude, probably an asshole

I know this is Phakiel craziness, but this is seriously exactly what's going to happen.

Also I think it went well. I really don't think you should be going to see her again so soon, though. It's like dangling yourself in front of her and not giving her a chance to let it sink in, I guess.

[Matron]

I agree, just leave her be, or you might give her false hope. She'll be all confused.

[Phakiel]

I know this is Phakiel craziness, but this is seriously exactly what's going to happen.



Actually, I tried to put some truth in there, because thats how it goes on always. And no FE, just because you would like it not to happen and you think your girl is special, and probably she is, the broad will eventually give herself to some douche bag to substitute the love she lost.

[Cyrus the virus]

This stuff is complicated :s

[Matron]

I still think you need to tap it before you leave. If you dont,t hen she is gonna give into another dude, probably an asshole, somebody named Stephen, all Stephens are assholes, this is a fact. Then she will regret it for her entire life, and when you come back to her, she is gonna cry and punch you because you made her fall for Stephen's charms, andshe is gonna hate you forever and ever.


He's right, that's exactly what will happen. It happened to me. I dated a guy for two years, and then he got his best friend to give me a note the first day of senior year. Talk about a lame ass dumping!

Anyway, I spent a year just wildly partying, but still being basically a good girl, just a good drunk girl. Then the first guy who fed me that sappy "I love you, and if you love me you'll sleep with me" crap, I fell for it like a stone.

But it was a Billy, not a Stephen.

[Indigo]

I got six text messages this morning of 5girls and 1 guy asking me if I wanted a shoulder to cry on.

I would kind of like to talk to people about it but these people who sent me the texts are definitely after something else. One of then is my, now ex girlfriend's best friend.

I'm not accepting any of this, but she was pretty upset last night, and she is also popular with the guys, so she'll get some of these texts too. And since she's insecure so she'll definitely accept some of these requests.

[Mary]

You'll be in University soon with all sorts of new and interesting shoulders. ;)

[Indigo]

And soft ones!

seriously, soft shoulders are a must when it comes to my companions.

[Jarrid]

Oh there will be plenty of soft shoulders.

[Phakiel]

Uh what kind of women dont have soft shoulders? Besides bums and anorexics of course.

[Baby]

O_O I'm glad you're done, Fallen Emo <3 Uni will be a whole new experience.

I'm in a long distance relationship. Thought a lot about ending it before it became long-distance but decided not to because... well because I think we can handle it! Besides, when he's in the air force, it's bound to be long distance at several points! :(

[Indigo]

O_O I'm glad you're done, Fallen Emo <3 Uni will be a whole new experience.

I'm in a long distance relationship. Thought a lot about ending it before it became long-distance but decided not to because... well because I think we can handle it! Besides, when he's in the air force, it's bound to be long distance at several points! :(

Yeah I can't wait for uni =]

And well at least you'll get to travel to new and exiting places when you go see him. If I was still with her i'd have to go visit her in Leeds >.>.

[Baby]

No mate, it's a miserable area of yorkshire that he's gonna be at for the next two years. :(


What's wrong with Leeds? Even (sorta)northern monkeys need some lurve.

[Cyrus the virus]

You'll love university :)

More if you whip the cock out once in a while! Give it up already! GIVE IN TO YOUR PENIS.

And try not to give much thought to what your ex is doing. Obviously you can keep it contact, just don't be too concerned. You'll be alright, sucka.

[Phakiel]

Son of a bitch, i just noticed Baby changed her username. It blows.

[Indigo]

No mate, it's a miserable area of yorkshire that he's gonna be at for the next two years. :(


What's wrong with Leeds? Even (sorta)northern monkeys need some lurve.

Yorkshire?!?!?

hmmm... Yorkshire pudding... :o

But Yorkshire is quite the boor.

I've only been to Leeds twice to see gigs, one of them was the mystery jets, I don't remember what the other one was. It's a nice place but man is it boring.

lol my friend is going to this uiversity in a place called Bath and it's Spa.

And Cyrus, I like to think with my brain. But MAYBE I'll pull some little strings.

[Phakiel]

Yorkshire?!?!?

And Cyrus, I like to think with my brain. But MAYBE I'll pull some little strings.

You are such an idiot.

[Indigo]

You are such an idiot.

My opinion can change when I get there, who knows.

[Baby]

Don't be a dick cos they ask you to be :(

[Indigo]

Don't be a dick cos they ask you to be :(

I'm glad you understand me.

And I don't plan on being a man whore, that wont get me anything other than some temporal pleasure, a feeling of guilt and maybe STDs.

[Baby]

Yes. It's not sexy. It's not manly. And it's not attractive!

No. Not in the slightest!

[Indigo]

Yes. It's not sexy. It's not manly. And it's not attractive!

No. Not in the slightest!

Good, I was actually unsure about that one.

[Cyrus the virus]

I don't get why the **** HAVING SEX WITH WOMEN has to mean you MUST BE AN ASSHOLE or CANT THINK WITH YOUR HEAD. ****ing stop that shit.

[Baby]

I don't get why the **** HAVING SEX WITH WOMEN has to mean you MUST BE AN ASSHOLE or CANT THINK WITH YOUR HEAD. ****ing stop that shit.

No, it doesn't mean you're an asshole but telling someone to pull it out and stick it everywhere sort of implies that that's how you go about life and it means you're a man-whore and an asshole because believe it or not, most women don't like to be one night stands kthxbai BITCH


PS: I love you still. Sort of.

[Phakiel]

To be fair Baby, and I am still calling you Baby not that ridiculous new name, Cyrus has never said that he should be going on and about with as many different women, just that he should have sex, this could be with a new girlfriend or something not numerous one night stands.

[Void]

how does one determine if they're "good in bed" or not? Did a girl actually come out and tell you you weren't?

Well, actually I don't really know. One time I was with someone who complained that I was getting tired.

I wish I had a bunch of strangers I met at an internet videogames forum telling me what to do about my life and relationships when I was your age.

Yeah. I totally think he's taking all this good advice for granted.

[Cyrus the virus]

No, it doesn't mean you're an asshole but telling someone to pull it out and stick it everywhere sort of implies that that's how you go about life and it means you're a man-whore and an asshole because believe it or not, most women don't like to be one night stands kthxbai BITCH.

You're wrong.

And I also am not telling Fallen to stick his dick everywhere he can.

[Atlas]

I breakup with bitches everyday.

[Suitcase]

Except that one that seemingly took you 22 years to ask out and then obsess over? That sounds like a busy social-romantic life. :)

[Phakiel]

Except that one that seemingly took you 22 years to ask out and then obsess over? That sounds like a busy social-romantic life. :)

This post right here, its full of win!

[Cyrus the virus]

Except that one that seemingly took you 22 years to ask out and then obsess over? That sounds like a busy social-romantic life. :)

Ooooooooooooooooooooh!!!

[Indigo]

I breakup with bitches everyday.

Do the dogs come and bite you in the ass the next day?

[Void]

I don't know so much about that one night stand comment. At least, around here. It seems every other girl I meet loses interest once they realize I don't have drugs.

[Mary]

maybe you're going after the wrong types of girls. ;) If they have track marks, just say no.

[Void]

Well, it's not the type I'm going for. It's just where I meet them. I'm at the point where the only place I can meet anyone is at work, or at the bar.

[Indigo]

Well, it's not the type I'm going for. It's just where I meet them. I'm at the point where the only place I can meet anyone is at work, or at the bar.

Go to clubs and Gigs. You'd be surprised at how many people DON'T do drugs in those places XD

[Void]

I'm not sure if that's sarcasm or not.

[Indigo]

It's not, I'm serious. you just have to look for the "X" at the back of the hands XD.

okay that was me kidding.

but seriously you don't get that many druggies

[Matron]

Gah whatever you do, avoid the druggies! No one in this world will use you and spit you back out quite like a drug addict.

[Mary]

:) maybe you should pick up girls from church or ice cream parlors or somthing.

[Indigo]

I've spoken with her again...

Couldn't help it. But over the Internet. I basically just asked how she was doing. She seems to still be a bit upset... I feel really bad. This whole thing has been a lose-lose.

[Void]

but seriously you don't get that many druggies

Then I assume the club and gig scene in the UK is the complete opposite of what it is here.

maybe you should pick up girls from church or ice cream parlors or somthing.

Interestingly, I met a girl who WORKS at a bar, and is born again christian. She's pretty much one of the coolest girls I've met in this god forsaken city, but I don't think it's going to work out. Me being atheist and all.

Though, I didn't meet her at church. There is that tie-in.

[Mary]

Interestingly, I met a girl who WORKS at a bar, and is born again christian. She's pretty much one of the coolest girls I've met in this god forsaken city, but I don't think it's going to work out. Me being atheist and all.

Though, I didn't meet her at church. There is that tie-in.

Um...nice attempt?

But being Athiest just makes dating a Christian better. Let her "save" you and she'll be yours forever.

I used to fool around with my minister's son in the bathroom during youth group. Church rocks.

[Phakiel]

Thats why I prefer catholic women, they are goddamn freaks.

[Liam McDohl]

Yorkshire?!?!?

hmmm... Yorkshire pudding... :o

But Yorkshire is quite the boor.

I've only been to Leeds twice to see gigs, one of them was the mystery jets, I don't remember what the other one was. It's a nice place but man is it boring.

lol my friend is going to this uiversity in a place called Bath and it's Spa.

And Cyrus, I like to think with my brain. But MAYBE I'll pull some little strings.

Screw you, Sheffield is awesome. And leeds isn't bad.

Then I assume the club and gig scene in the UK is the complete opposite of what it is here.

He'll probably change his mind after a few months at university in London.

[Void]

Um...nice attempt?

But being Athiest just makes dating a Christian better. Let her "save" you and she'll be yours forever.

I used to fool around with my minister's son in the bathroom during youth group. Church rocks.

Perhaps I'll go to church this weekend.

[Jarrid]

Watch out. You might start burning or lightning may strike, as some say.

[lazzara]

lol

[Mark]

Love is all you need.

:p


no such thing my friend. its all in your head.

[Indigo]

no such thing my friend. its all in your head.

you could say that about everything.

[Jarrid]

Because everything literally is all perceived by one's consciousness.

"All phenomena are projections in the mind." - The Third Karmapa

[Indigo]

Because everything literally is all perceived by one's consciousness.

"All phenomena are projections in the mind." - The Third Karmapa

ditto

[Mark]

pretty much. I agree as well.