Poetry, Once Again

[Atlas]

Yup... bringing it back... too soon, you say? Never, I say!

Try not to be too liberal about how many you post within each response.

Gracias.

I'll begin:

Untitled

A heavy reminder
Time’s not through with you yet
A quiet whisper awakens
An awkward appetite

Lost in battle and shield and sword
The Sun begins rising
Brightly shining and without rebellion
The rays wash pretty your blood-stricken coat

A fogged view shows you myself
Standing, shield ready and armor do send
An awkward appetite you don’t quite know
With you, and for you, I woo to show that
I feel drunken with sanity I’ve never proposed

Lost in battle and shield and sword
The Sun begins rising
Brightly shining and without rebellion
The rays wash pretty your blood-stricken coat

Smell the sobriety of a heavy reminder
That time’s not through with you yet
And soon a quiet whisper
Awakens an awkward appetite

And soon a quiet whisper
Awakens an awkward appetite

[Cyrus the virus]

O_o

[Poofy]

Good poetry on the Internet is like good breakfast at Denny's: No way, Jose.

[Tenacious P]

Hahahahaha, that's signature material.

[Atlas]

Hmph.

[Hyde]

Actually that was kinda insulting. Don't get me wrong, Atlas is no Shelley or Byron, but it wasn't BAD either....

And it's stereotypical to say there is no good poetry on the internet. I keep alot of mine online and I've been published several times.

[Poofy]

Yeah, and occasionally you'll stumble across a Denny's that doesn't serve pancakes that self destruct the minute your silverware touches them. It's the exception, not the rule.

[Tenacious P]

Well it's not like I can write anything better, so I guess kudos to Atlas for being brave enough to post it here.

[Atlas]

Eskimos

Eskimos are what we are
Cold and lonely, we are but one
Together soon, one shining star
At least we?ve got forever

Least we?ve got this house of ice
Least we?ve got a worn out kite
Least we?ve got one tender moment
At ?least we?ve got forever

The ice wont melt if we keep it cold
Nothing to fear, two lonely souls
Eskimos are what we are
At least we?ve got forever

Older chests against each other
Eskimos endure the weather
My patience with you will last forever
Approach me with your doubt

Eskimos are what we are
Cold and lonely, we are but one
Together soon, one shining star
At least we?ve got forever

K.L.V.

[UO_Duck]

I just... I just can't stop laughing

[Genopuff]

bringing my boot down
your head breaks
like a watermelon thrown to the ground

your brains the meat
the blood the seed

both taste so sweet.

[Atlas]

I just... I just can't stop laughing

Are you an Eskimo too? Haha.

[UO_Duck]

Are you an Eskimo too? Haha.

If Eskimos can be born in Arizona, then sure.

[Hyde]

Okay after the Eskimo thing I take back what I said about Atlas...

[Poofy]

Woo. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v304/GxPiS/smash.gif

[Jarrid]

Now don't you eat that yellow snow.

[Cyrus the virus]

bringing my boot down
your head breaks
like a watermelon thrown to the ground

your brains the meat
the blood the seed

both taste so sweet.

GOLD

Also I assume Atlas's eskimo poem is a joke and thus I find him a genius.

Here's a haiku:

I like cheetos YEAH!!
Cheesy flavor exploding
In my mouth num num

[Atlas]

Haha... Cyrus gets me.

[Blackdragon]

Here's a few I wrote back in HS (Emo Alert in full affect):

Tornado Of Torment

Life is filled with hopelessness and despair,
challenging your fear isn't something you should dare.
Or you'll be killed slowly by depression and pain,
Till your regrets and self pity drive you insane.
Sometimes I just hate living and I start to cry,
Wishing that the day would come, when its time for me to die.


(I wrote this one to this girl I had a crush on all throughout HS. Needless to say, we ended up being just friends).
My Angel Far Away

You're like the sun that brightens my life everyday,
But I can never appoach you, and its always been that way.
I'd like to understand the wonderful phenomenon which is you,
I want to make you happy, and lift you up when you are blue.
Like the tide changing moon, you don't really see me,
To you I'm just another fish floating in the vast sea.
If the day comes when you do notice me, and it may,
I'll love you forever, my Angel, my Angel far way.


Into The Mind Of The Depressed

Some days I wish I'd just f***ing curl up and die,
that the hands of time would grow wings and start to fly.
Life is too damn hard, how much longer can I take it,
No one beleives I'm happy, so why should I fake it.
The harsh road of life is rigid, and destroyed.
Since my soul is already dead, send my worthless body to the void.


Selfdestructing World

The world today is slowly falling, totally dying, and crumbling.
People killing others, and Politicians acts are opposite of the looks of a ring,
they're hideous. Like the looks of a horrible, viscious beast,
but those are only two problems, and unfortunetly aren't the least.
The levels of respect and trust, are going down the drain,
It's enough to drive a sensible man to the brink of being insane.
A peaceful, loving, caring world would be so hard to maintain,
and corrupt, ill-minded people, are who we have to blame.
__________________________________

I'll post some more at a later date, don't want to exhaust my supply now.

[UO_Duck]

Haha... Cyrus gets me.

damage control

[Cyrus the virus]

Duckie, you like me, donate your credits to me!!!

[Genopuff]

i once set a cheeto on fire
to watch it burn
but soon saw black smoke
and watched it turn

to plastic.

[UO_Duck]

Duckie, you like me, donate your credits to me!!!

hm ok

[Atlas]

This next one is more personal and obviously in correlation to my religious beliefs. Hope you guys don't mind.

Shining Forth Into Forever

The fear of the Lord is upon us
With the manifold wisdom of God
The sacrifice is forever
By the Soldier of the cross

Shining forth into forever
Into the gates of evermore
My bones have been awakened
And my sins shame nevermore

Tender mercies are increasing
By each morning of each day
The greatness to behold
Is the Lamb who was so slain

Shining forth into forever
Is my heart inside of His
Into the gates I run
To the gates of eternal bliss

K.L.V.

[Hyde]

The newest one I wrote, which was written with and in correlation to my new site...which will debut soon:

Metamorphosis

Words are Painkillers.
Salves. Salvation.
Freeing the chains that hold me in place.
That keep me down.
That keep me weighted.
They hold me to mother earth like a steel tether.
And my radius circles the drain,
as it falls down and away.
Clockwise. Clockwork.
Ever and Ever. Amen.
All down the drain.
Filtered by the grating under a red moon sky.
A Blood Moon.
Casting Light upon the bleached bones of tonight.
Modern and Suffocating in complexity.
In reason. In form.
Modern midnight under a hopeless sky.
Laying in the mid street pavement.
The rain starts. Heated and dripping
like an IV.
Pushing the Night into my veins
It suffuses. If Saturates.
It purifies. It changes.
It manifests.
I am modern midnight.

[Matron]

I still love it. :)

[Atlas]

Wrote this today.

Seethe

A wanton one, a blessed heart,
Embers beneath my chest.

The sorted amount of melancholy heaves,
Forfieting rights to breathe.

Nigh is my death, and long to redeem;
The doors are clamped shut, indeed.

But a wanton one gives up and dies,
Recaptured by senses of dread.

To adjust a minor plee for death-
It's all I need to seethe.

[Suitcase]

I am not quite sure how to respond to this verbal diarrhea

http://i36.tinypic.com/mtat5i.gif

[UO_Duck]

HEY GUYS


IM ATLAS!!!!!!!








SHAZAM

[Suitcase]

Duck, are you retarded or just playing the role?

[Hyde]

Suitcase is quickly becoming one of my favorite people ever.

[UO_Duck]

Duck, are you retarded or just playing the role?

Um... playing the role. Nice attempt at an insult, though

[Suitcase]

I am not insulting you. I am seriously genuinely wondering!

[Atlas]

Seriously genuinely? Huh.

[UO_Duck]

I am not insulting you. I am seriously genuinely wondering!

well, for the record, yes, I am acting like Atlas


I WANT MY CREDITS BACK


GUYS

COME ON

I'LL **** YOU IN THE ASS TO GET THEM BACK

[Cyrus the virus]

You guys are nasty mean!

Jesus will rally up the playground bullies and get you for picking on his disciple.

[Hyde]

You guys are nasty mean!

Jesus will rally up the playground bullies and get you for picking on his disciple.

I laughed so hard, water came up through my nose I think.

Carbonated water.

Ow.

[Atlas]

Wrote this tonight:

Rivulet


Oh, Rivulet, I come to you now;
Blistered and broken, yet prowess is endowed.

Shelter of shelters, and no shelter at all.
Oh, Rivulet, how far does it fall?

Sensations of leave and radiant bursts
Of light to my soul as I walk on this earth.

Oh, Rivulet, how far does it fall?
Fate's tried to dub me a wicked old Saul.

Faithful and dull, Rivulet's where I go;
A well-placed idea from Heaven, I know.

Oh, Rivulet, I come to you now!
Show me my river and I you a brow.

Kill me a martyr, but bury me close;
For my Rivulet's a friendly old host.

[Jarrid]

You should just live in a van down by the river and have no worries, man. ;)

[Atlas]

Hehe. =)

[Atlas]

Wrote this tonight:

Rivulet


Oh, Rivulet, I come to you now;
Blistered and broken, yet prowess is endowed.

Shelter of shelters, and no shelter at all.
Oh, Rivulet, how far does it fall?

Sensations of leave and radiant bursts
Of light to my soul as I walk on this earth.

Oh, Rivulet, how far does it fall?
Fate's tried to dub me a wicked old Saul.

Faithful and dull, Rivulet's where I go;
A well-placed idea from Heaven, I know.

Oh, Rivulet, I come to you now!
Show me my river and I you a brow.

Kill me a martyr, but bury me close;
For my Rivulet's a friendly old host.

Some might want an explanation, I realized. My main focus was the rivulet; this is because there's a small river by my house that has tended to me well through out my years in this old town. Just a place to sit and think. It's basically an ode. So, while it only took me about 10 minutes to write tonight, it has years worth of meaning.

[Jarrid]

If you like poetry, and if you have not watched this before, it is Saul Williams' Code Language on Def Poetry Jam, and it is amazing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzY2-GRDiPM

[Cyrus the virus]

My main focus was the rivulet

NO WAY

[Hyde]

As I said in channel, I don't think much of it. It seems to me like an attempt at classical early American formulaic poetry, but comes off as a stretch and as...well....amateur.

[Atlas]

NO WAY

Haha.

[UO_Duck]

As I said in channel, I don't think much of it. It seems to me like an attempt at classical early American formulaic poetry, but comes off as a stretch and as...well....amateur.

Quoted for emphasis.

[Atlas]

:)

[Atlas]

I feel... in the mood... to write.

Here goes nothing:

Flirting with the disastrous apathy that can kill flight,
I pick at the scabs within me and laugh.
Tending to your pious rapture of innocense;
Leaning over the study to see my own plight(a withered journey).
Sincerity is dead, so I scream at your soul.
Screaming, screaming, screaming.
Will you hear me if I die?
Will you hear me if I shed blood for a cause?
Might a small sacrifice of integrity be made?
Of course not. It's too much to ask of a world drowned within itself.
Sincerity is dead and the screams within me are my portion.

I found a mask today(it bleeds down my spine);
Borne inside a soul torn by worldly lies;
Not mine, of course; someone elses, I'm sure.
Could a rendezvous with my docked integrity leave me slain?
Possibly. Rarely do I find a second chance so worthy of complaint.
Festives leave me deathly ill.
I'm that wanton one not worthy of your time.

Our fate, decided by a doomed creature of death;
A placement of faith throughout history can attest
To the beautiful futility of everything you see;
And because of my dutiful countenence, I'll likely die at sea.
Bound by the waves that tend a fettered boy
Alone in his ways, but oh, so free.
The Lord of the Flies catches up to him quickly;
And like those before him, he soon climbs so high.
Yet, at the end of his journey, his dreams will but die.
Back to the sky will this poor boy sure leave.
It's too bad, really, this poor boy is me.

[UO_Duck]

emo patrolllll

[Cyrus the virus]

I have an idea, Atlas. If you want to seriously write a poem, devote more than ten minutes to it. Not saying that to be mean.

[Atlas]

Or, is it possible, you're just too dull to really grasp what I've written?

O:

I THINK WE HAVE A WINNAR

[Blackdragon]

Atlas, I'm quite sure he didn't mean to insult you and was merely just giving sound advice. It isn't right to attack everyone who doesn't like your writing. It's just a sign to improve is all.

Anyway, here's another fro me. I wrote it on a bus on the way to school. Obviously in the wintertime.
__________________________________________________ ________
Winter Blues

Winter brings a freezing cold breeze,
It makes your hands freeze, and brings shivers to your knees.
Winter is the unforgiving King of Cold you know,
because it brings freezing rain, hail, sleet, and snow.
Your nose starts to run, and your blood runs cold,
This must what it feels like to be in Death's tight hold.

[Cyrus the virus]

Atlas, the one really productive thing I do in life is edit people's writing. Don't try to convince yourself that your shallow poetry is too complicated for people to understand.

[Hyde]

Atlas, the one really productive thing I do in life is edit people's writing. Don't try to convince yourself that your shallow poetry is too complicated for people to understand.

Sad to say it, Atlas, but....seriously...he's right. Some of us do stuff like this alot.

[Matron]

Also, if you're going to put yourself out there, you've got to expect and be able to accept criticism.

[Suitcase]

Atlas, I'm quite sure he didn't mean to insult you and was merely just giving sound advice. It isn't right to attack everyone who doesn't like your writing.

So attack everyone?


It's crap Atlas. And by posting more crap you are not going to decrap what you have already crapped.

[Blackdragon]

Well that's just a bit harsh don't you think...?

[Suitcase]

No it's not. Try it nicely and he thinks everyone is jealous of his writing skills, mate and that he's too deep and complicated to be understood by the average person.

Going over yours now.

[Blackdragon]

That's cool. I merely used poetry as a quick outlet for my emotions at specific points in time. Nothing I'd publish though, heh.

[Atlas]

I come back from work and this is what occurs? I guess my stupid remark at the end of my "insult" wasn't enough to show that I was totally joking. Trust me, after being critisized so often, I am fully aware of the consequences of putting my stuff out there.

Anyways, sorry if I got to you, Cyrus(as I was totally joking, bud).

[UO_Duck]

damage control

cover thy tracks

must not be actually serious

[Atlas]

Wow... Seriously lost.

[Hyde]

I'm writing the following solely for this thread, starting at the moment I start. This isn't pre-written. This is me "freestylin" with the poetry...

To give me a subject:
Hyde: Pick a topic people usually write poems about that isn't....obvious
diremommy: hmmmm
diremommy: love is obvious, hearbreak, sadness and all that
Hyde: right. I want something a little more oblique. You'll see why.
diremommy: happy, sad?
Hyde: doesn't matter
diremommy: childhood, either joy or trauma
diremommy: or getting old, growing up

So here goes nothing....

--------------------

In the twilight, childhood daydreams plague me.
I was a child, in the bright light, the shining stars
The apple of my mother's eye
The chip off my father's block
I was a young god.
Worshipped and Sacrificed to by those that bore me.
A young god in a big world.
A Big world of cost. and tragedy. and listless envy.
A young god growing into the world
as it grew into me.
The city streets the veins in my body, running the
length of me in coils and dead ends.
Firing synapses shot red and green across my vision.
Stop. Go. Eat your dinner. Clean your room.
But never big decisions.
I was a young god. I made no decisions not pre-destined.
Now I'm an old god.
A Vestige of patterned mannerisms and polite conduct.
Of passionless drive and withered ends.
The streets are still my veins, flowing like the lifeblood of youth.
But youth is far away in this place, and smiles don't meet my eyes.
I'm an old god.
And like all old gods before me
Faceless, Powerless, Lost to time and technology...
I'll fade away.
I'm an old god.
A god with every man's face.

----

The end. :D

[Matron]

I like it, especially as a spur of the moment type thing. :)

[Atlas]

Well, on with the sporadic poetry, then! Here, once again, goes nothin'. All of you editing buffs, please, feel free to do your thing. :)

The Mirror

Against a manner worthy of disposal,
Apparent now and no less then,
I fight on and see its petty shine;
And I found hypocrisy there, once again.

Surreality pulls out a mirror,
And brightly shown are my allied selves;
Distractions may have helped before,
But now, I see, truth rebels.

Surreality makes a fool of me;
I knew it would, it's such a tease.
And shown beneath my hybrid gaze,
The mirror, alone with me.
Then it breaks... and now I'm free.


I felt like I should have written more, but it will do for now.

[Hyde]

Okay Atlas, I'm gonna try something no one else has really thought to do since you started this thread....I'm gonna offer up some legit opinion with explanation and possibly pointers.

First, your stuff is very formulaic and follows a lyrical pattern that often doesn't work and is very uneven. Secondly, you have a habit of what I call "Creative Coupling" where you rhyme certain verses but not others. You shouldn't switch in the midst of the poem, nor should you move around the way it rhymes. 1 and 3 in one stanza, 1 and 3 in the second and then 3 and 4 in the last. It should remain constant if you're going to do it at all.

Personally, I find rhyming poetry like that to be often very forced and very limiting. Free Verse prose is much easier to express yourself in without coming off as if you're stretching. However, a lot of times your rhymes don't work effectively anyway. Like I said...your stuff comes off as forced and pretentious. I can tell you write with the intent to express deep emotional thought....so far as you feel it is.

Write in descriptors. Write to explore and to explain, but not to lead. Write in a style that suits who you are instead of following a pattern. Most of all, understand what and why you're writing instead of doing it off the cuff. I don't think you're ready for that yet.

There's no reason you can't be a decent poet, but, you really have to understand poetry to do it. You have to write with intent and with the kind of metaphors in hand that really drive home what you want to say when you're saying it in such a way that you might confuse others. Try not to make the words work against you. No matter what they are, how metaphorical they are, how absurdly descriptive, etc....make sure the reader can understand.

Also, if you can stand it...when you write, finish it and then put in a drawer for at least 2 or 3 days and then read it with fresh eyes. This works for ALL writing. It'll help you self evaluate more.

[Atlas]

I too find rhyming extremely limiting, but for some reason I always come back to it. As messy a time it can cause a writer, it's fun, and, if done correctly, can be very powerful. Most of your advice I did take into serious account. I especially like that last bit about waiting a couple of days -- something I'm terrible with -- patience.

I appreciate the time you took to evaluate my work. Very much so, actually. Gracias!

[Atlas]

Apotheosis

Nibble to find slight comfort;
Jab the heart of a monster's rage;
Apotheosis comes to my mind.
Humans and creatures, but no exchange.

With lack of transcendent beauty I try
And leave a trace of my pitiful life.
Yet, I know, despite this dingy sulk,
Apotheosis comes to my mind.

Ponderously capricious, without face,
The moster comes, frightened but sure.
My tongue is chopped off and surrendered,
Yet apotheosis still seems a lure.

Nibble to find slight comfort,
As humans we sleep in delight;
But creatures and monsters appear
To us, but we're nothing but God's at night.

Hope somebody likes it. It was another sporadic burst of energy I thought I'd let loose.

[UO_Duck]

ill write some poetry

cat likes dog
dog likes cat
weird offspring
bad television show
what next?



gene splicing

[charolastra00]

Why is God's possessive?

*Transcendent

Again with the rhyming, you do ABCB on all stanzas except the 2nd. If you're going to do ABCB, you really should do it in all stanzas. It throws the whole poem off otherwise.

[Indigo]

ill write some poetry

cat likes dog
dog likes cat
weird offspring
bad television show
what next?



gene splicing


best poem ever.

I really liked that last poeam Hyde.

[Atlas]

Why is God's possessive?

*Transcendent

Again with the rhyming, you do ABCB on all stanzas except the 2nd. If you're going to do ABCB, you really should do it in all stanzas. It throws the whole poem off otherwise.

The funniest thing is, though, is that I actually purposefully throw it off. I don't know why, but sound rhyming is just not very appealing right now. The chaos of it all is just too tempting.

[UO_Duck]

i have another one because im so damn good at it

obtuse verbosity is quite aggravating
gigantic lexicons are merely sophisms
for picayune attempts at intelligence
all miserable failures in the end

"Brevity is the soul of wit" an imbecilic man once spoke
however through that stupidity, we gain an infallible truth



but, really, what would life be without "big" words?
a shortcut to filling up a page
a page that, ultimately, says nothing

[Teenychicka]

I have a scruffy mutt
It's about time for a cut
I'm taking him in to shave his ears and his butt
What a scruffy little mutt

Ah ha. Seriously though, Duck, that poem was pretty awesome.

[Indigo]

i have a hairy nut
it's about time for a cut
I'm taking it in to shave his .. nut...
wut?
What a hairy little nut

[charolastra00]

The funniest thing is, though, is that I actually purposefully throw it off. I don't know why, but sound rhyming is just not very appealing right now. The chaos of it all is just too tempting.

Then don't rhyme at all. Or succumb to suckage. Your choice.

[Cyrus the virus]

Garbage

Your poetry is predictable and shitty, either take advice or stop torturing us.

My poem is called WORD

Ooo the bla bla bla
Bla bla rhyme I do
But not on this line
This one, foo
Something something WORD because I need to put the title in every goddamn stanza

[UO_Duck]

the touch of skin
a sensation that whispers in the cold, dark night
the world around them, oblivious to the heat
snow falls, drifting downwards, covering the world in white... soft, delicate white

the touch of skin
the sheen of sweat forming rivulets down through canyons of muscle
as if the secretion itself eroded all in its path
tunneling and digging and forcing its way
effort rewarded, all can be gained

the touch of skin
rhythmic heartbeats beating in unison, finding a common ground
rhythmic movements that could spurn delicate music, music that transcends even the best orchestra
gaining in speed, slowing down, gaining in speed, slowing down
fast...
then slow again... movements drawn in and out, beat kept but interchanged at the slightest second
rhythm that won't stop until both bodies find completion

and in a flash it ends
the room pervaded by a new smell, the heavy breathing making its own hymn
a hymn that only these two bodies could sing

as the snow falls around them
as the cold draws a pall around them
they make their own heat
shielding them from the world, for a moment
that moment more important than anything that has come before

[Atlas]

Your poetry is predictable and shitty, either take advice or stop torturing us.




No problem.

And Charol, I think you might find this type of rhyming more pleasing to the senses. Also, just to show I'm capable.

Some Strange Abyss

The stars shine down like dilated pupils,
And so her starry eyes I do see above.
The wind's gust then spins the windmills;
Like the everlasting grief that is only known as love.

Let the clouds shadow over those watching eyes;
No more rain drops fall from shadowed lies.
No matter, my worries shall fall into some strange abyss,
Just as Solomon once said, "All is but meaningless."

Could you sense this grief that shows no sense?
No will-power, yet so full of innocence...
So then, let me fall into the abyss,
For my worries are dubbed but meaningless.

Humbly now, I shall be brought up from this demise;
Only now is it that I do reminisce-
No more will a dying love be such a surprise,
As my worries fall into some strange abyss.

Miles, your last poem was very good. I enjoyed it.

[UO_Duck]

why thank you, Atlas.

[UO_Duck]

Background: this was inspired by someone very close to me.

sitting, waiting, wishing

we watch life fly by and grasp opportunities by the throat
- chance -
we think we've met love at first sight
- fate -
we obsess and we fret and we worry, doubt upon layers of doubt, like layers of earth underneath our feet
- love -
can it be right?
or are we just blinded
oh!
that girl, over there, staring at me, daggers flying... sinking into my heart, wrenching it free
my heart lay there on the table, beating, flopping, spurting out my life essence with reckless abandon
telling me... "Go for her. She wants--
But it stops there

for my mind, my mind assumes
scenarios writing images on a blackboard buried in my deepest subconscious
scenarios that distort my vision into a crimson hell
where only the worst of events can happen, where i can see myself rejected and destroyed
my youth taught me this...

we watch life fly by and we instead wait, for that right moment
- chance -
we know we've met love but we have to measure it out in spoonfuls, not down the whole drink
- fate -
we think and we ponder, but we hesitate nonetheless, because no truth is absolute, no lie devastating
- love -
it can be right.
I see that girl over there, and I've seen her here a thousand times and every single time I wait
I wish
and I sit.
Because I won't let her let me down, so easily
I won't fall for a trap that I can't escape from

For my mind, my mind works in conjunction with my heart
I can see the logic and I can see the truth
The right moment, the right plan... I know when it will be, I know how it will happen
but I must wait.
Cruelly wait.
The time I have until this grand design can fit into place, is torture at the most extreme
like a lethal injection to my heart
but I weather it, I'm stronger than this

even then
i take it a step further
i don't settle for just the one
i settle for anything... the sea is wide, the sea is calm, the sea is inviting

and so i sit, and i wait, and i wish
i am experienced. i can do this.
i dont need anyone else
i am my own person
love? fate? chance?
i make my own rules
and in that respect, i've found the end of this journey, this path
and it's in her arms

[Devil King]

So attack everyone?


It's crap Atlas. And by posting more crap you are not going to decrap what you have already crapped.

You are crap.

Oh, and Atlas, I like your poetry.

[UO_Duck]

You are crap.

The nasty runny green kind that leaves stains on the toilet paper.

Oh, and Atlas, I like your poetry.

That last sentence makes me take back what I said earlier. sorry

[Ryujin]

Jesus, I haven't written anything in so long... alright, here goes... I hope I don't get made fun of... x_o



Sing me a song without the words
Fly with a flock of flightless birds
Dance in the doorway and dance with the dirge
Give me your hand and we’ll both crave the urge

Sing me the world, sing me the sun
We’re both of us gods, we are both no one
I’ll be the bullet, you be the gun
We’ll set the world afire with our own dangerous fun

I never heard your song, only your sigh
Help me remember how I used to fly
Sing me a song, don’t tell me a lie
Because I’d like to see the sun again, before I die.


Hmm. Extremely simple poem. Most basic rhyming scheme possible. But some of the best are the simplest ones.

[Cyrus the virus]

Atlas, your poetry is still just flowery prose.

I have peculiar taste regarding poetry. I really don't think it should resemble prose at all.

[Hyde]

Ryujin's signature image is the best thing ever. That's all I have to contribute right now.

[Veleda]

Thank you to Hyde for showing me this area <3

I've read alot of the poems in here and I figured I might go ahead and show you some of mind. Feel free to be as blunt as you want. If you guys like them enough I may just make my own thread for this.

Here's one of my very first:

Lost and Unfound

Take from my mind
What my hands can not hold
Find a place, far away
Take it there and leave it in the cold
My mind lies to my heart
My Heart hides from my mind
Claims of love sway beyond

It takes a lifetime to know ones self
Takes seconds to lose all you've felt
Words cut deep, deeper then the seas depths
And it is for you that I wept

Late into the night
I feared for the lose
Only to find myself yet again Lost

The comfort you once gave
The feelings we once made
All over now it seems
How did this come to be

Take this from me
Take my mind and soul
For it belongs to no one now

So long ago
But so close in time
I figured it out now
I've lost track of whats truley mine

[Cyrus the virus]

Didn't work for me. It's too straightforward for my tastes.

[Atlas]

Cyrus is just a bitch.

[charolastra00]

Since everyone else is posting their bad, lame poetry, I'll post mine too. This was a 10th grade English assignment. We had to follow the format ("I am..., I wonder..") and had to read it aloud during a "coffee house" in class. I knew everyone else's was going to be half assed so I decided to go as pretentious as humanly possible. ;) Ok, maybe I was a little emo. Alright, a lot emo. However, I didn't *actually* write poetry like this. It's cute.


I am perceptive and ablaze with spirit.

I wonder if the mediocrities of society can be warmed by the human heart and soul.
I hear the pied piper, calling me to dance his merry song and leap away into the unknown.
I see children playing among dust of an angel, and I cry gilded tears.
I want the world to save itself, to heal its razored scars and bruised dreams.

I am perceptive and ablaze with spirit.

I pretend to shield my eyes from the glaring harshness of indifference.
I feel the pain of a thousand souls rising up in fear and a tremulous terror.
I touch the hope and grasp for truth.
I cry unabashedly whilst the TV boasts of June Cleaver and happier days.

I am perceptive and ablaze with spirit.

I understand that my perceptions of how I wish the world to be are fatalistically idealistic.
I say my thoughts in riddles and rhymes, incoherently blabbering on of my opinionated inner monologue.
I dream of when all my dreams will be realized and the world will free of intolerance.
I try to harmonize with the world, yet live my own syncopated rhythm.
I hope my heart doesn’t fail me now.

I am perceptive and ablaze with spirit.

[Atlas]

I wonder if I'll get laid tomorrow...

[charolastra00]

All sources point to no.

[Atlas]

Get in line.

[Veleda]

Didn't work for me. It's too straightforward for my tastes.

Eh That's how some of my earlier stuff is. I've gotten better with my poetry.

But from what I've seen I still have a ways to go with it. Hell I couldn't even compare to some of Hyde's stuff XD

[Cyrus the virus]

Atlas has no friends.

[Atlas]

Cyrus thinks he has friends.

[Liam McDohl]

This haiku-like creation was, um, "inspired by" a television program that I enjoy watching on occasion. Apparently a haiku must contain a "season-word" - which this does not! Without further ado:

One Two Three Four Five
One Two Three Four Five Six Se
Ven One Two Three Four

[Matron]

I love myself, I think I'm grand
I go to the movies just to hold my hand
I wrap my hands around my waist
And if I get fresh I slap my face

[Liam McDohl]

I revised my earlier attempt to fit the "haiku" ideal more closely.

One Two Three Four Five
One Two Three Four Five Six Se
Ven One Spring Three Four

[charolastra00]

Remember how I said I'm a politics fangirl? Wrote this about 6 months ago and it's now in poster form hanging in my best friend's room.


Joe Biden's Penis
Fits easily in my mouth
Yum, it's delicious



And updated version!

The Vice President's penis
Can fit in my mouth, yum
Yes we can, Biden.

[DrunkSwashbuckler]

Mayonnaise I love
Mayonnaise I hate
Mayonnaise I use
to masturbate

[charolastra00]

Mayonnaise I love
Mayonnaise I hate
Mayonnaise I use
to masturbate

That was beautiful. *wipes tears from eyes*

[Cyrus the virus]

Cyrus thinks he has friends.

Go commit suicide, already.

[UO_Duck]

Cyrus thinks he has friends.

You don't really want to play this game again. Trust me. You lost your moderator powers the first time. You could lose a lot more.

[Matron]

Oh good lord, do you guys have to start this crap up again?

[Cyrus the virus]

You could lose your SOUL, Atlas!!! I'll eat it.

[UO_Duck]

You could lose your SOUL, Atlas!!! I'll eat it.

go cyrus!

[Hyde]

oh for fuck's sake....you guys really need to calm down

[Liam McDohl]

Poetry is serious business!
And I like to eat some pie.
Poetry is serious business!
Something something something sky.