This...is...the last time I'll forget you. I wish I could!!!

[The Varsh]

The Varsh recently got back in touch with an old flame who he's been out of touch with for a few years. In the course of conversation, she told The Varsh that she never got over him and that she wishes to pursue some type of relationship with The Varsh. Her exact words were, "I want you, just once, with nothing attached and no one has to know."

The problem here is that The Varsh has a loooong past with this girl. Some of you may remember The Varsh talking about hyperventilating at a prom some years back. Yeah, that was because of her. Another problem is that The Varsh is in turmoil because of it. He knows he isn't going to do anything with this girl. The Varsh luuurvs his baby momma! But the fact that it's affected The Varsh so bad has him worried. Help? Advice? Snide remarks? Anything for The Varsh?

[Phakiel]

Bail. this smells like trouble.

[The Varsh]

Indeed. The Varsh knows that. The trouble is...why is it so appealing? The forbidden fruit thing or what?

[charolastra00]

It's completely the forbidden fruit thing. And I also think there's quite a bit of "what if" when confronted with this type of situation.

That said- bail. Block her, screen phone calls, anything. Does she know that you're in a relationship? Anyone- male or female- who tries to get back with an ex (or anyone really) KNOWING that they're in a relationship is just trouble waiting to happen. I have a few exes who I would take back in a flash- either for a relationship or just one more amazing night. However, I would NEVER express these wishes to any of them who are in relationships. There's only 2 reasons to do this: you're trying to stir up trouble in the relationship or you're flat out nuts.

[The Varsh]

Indeed. The Varsh is engaged to his woman and has a son. The history with this girl is very long and dramatic. The Varsh had alot of walls put up around himself concerning this girl who we're going to call Amelia (name change). When Amelia said what she said she tore down alot of that. The Varsh's will literally crumbled and he was speechless.

Now, the other problem is, even though The Varsh hasn't cheated (which is anethema to him) he feels like he has. It's hard for The Varsh to look at his fiance now without feeling guilty...

[charolastra00]

Cut off all contact with her. Even drop her a message and tell her why. Even better- get angry about it. That always works well. I'd be angry as HELL if someone from my past came bumbling in trying to ruin a great relationship that I had. Anyone who would do that obviously cares nothing for you. Sure, she might think she does- but why would she do that otherwise?

It's a mindfuck. I know, I've been there. And it's much easier to say to cut off contact than to actually do it. But that's what you need to do. Or, you could give me her screenname and I'll tell her off. ;) Kidding.. sort of...

[Void]

Whatever you do, don't add alcohol to the mix.

[DrunkSwashbuckler]

The Varsh is rolling in bitches.

[Less Than Liz]

Convert to Mormonism.

Gosh, I should just start a column.

[Polygon]

You said that you won't do anything with this girl because you're already involved. So, that means the relationship can't go anywhere.

That's simple, don't pursue a relationship with her again. I agree completely with charolastra.

Convert to Mormonism.

Gosh, I should just start a column.

LULZ

Hellz yeah! I've got 17 wives!

[Suitcase]

charolastra00 is becoming my favourite poster!

[Jarrid]

Convert to Mormonism.

Gosh, I should just start a column.

I would pay for a membership.

Do it.

[Devil King]

Yeah, dude.

Do what everyone else is saying. Just completely forget about her. If she asks, tell her you have amnesia.

[Ryujin]

I have a few exes who I would take back in a flash- either for a relationship or just one more amazing night. However, I would NEVER express these wishes to any of them who are in relationships.

Oh god, I can relate to that so well it's ridiculous. My ex was my best friend before we dated and now like two years almost after we broke up we're still best friends, in some ways closer than ever, and sometimes there's this weird mutual attraction that's there? Like when we're hanging out just the two of us and we start talking about old times we both get the same look in our eyes like we both know what we'd like to do but it can't happen. She's got a boyfriend, and he's a really great awesome guy. I'm honestly extremely happy that they got together, and he and I have become really good friends. But there are times, and I think we both know it, but luckily we've both got decent will-power, I'd never forgive myself if I fucked with our friendship and screwed over her awesome boyfriend like that.

The really fucked up thing? I kind of have feelings for her boyfriend too.

[The Varsh]

Well things are better. The Varsh hasn't talked to her since the original time and he's pretty much put it out of his mind. A day or two of emotional turmoil and now things are back to normal. All it really took was looking at The Varsh's lady to solidify it in his head. This is his life now. Nothing will stop that now.

[Devil King]

Oh god, I can relate to that so well it's ridiculous. My ex was my best friend before we dated and now like two years almost after we broke up we're still best friends, in some ways closer than ever, and sometimes there's this weird mutual attraction that's there? Like when we're hanging out just the two of us and we start talking about old times we both get the same look in our eyes like we both know what we'd like to do but it can't happen. She's got a boyfriend, and he's a really great awesome guy. I'm honestly extremely happy that they got together, and he and I have become really good friends. But there are times, and I think we both know it, but luckily we've both got decent will-power, I'd never forgive myself if I fucked with our friendship and screwed over her awesome boyfriend like that.

The really fucked up thing? I kind of have feelings for her boyfriend too.


That's intense, man.

Quite a situation there. For some reason, I can't talk to any of my exes.

[Mark]

The Varsh recently got back in touch with an old flame who he's been out of touch with for a few years. In the course of conversation, she told The Varsh that she never got over him and that she wishes to pursue some type of relationship with The Varsh. Her exact words were, "I want you, just once, with nothing attached and no one has to know."

The problem here is that The Varsh has a loooong past with this girl. Some of you may remember The Varsh talking about hyperventilating at a prom some years back. Yeah, that was because of her. Another problem is that The Varsh is in turmoil because of it. He knows he isn't going to do anything with this girl. The Varsh luuurvs his baby momma! But the fact that it's affected The Varsh so bad has him worried. Help? Advice? Snide remarks? Anything for The Varsh?

sounds exactly like my ex...dude seriously bad idea...dispite my situation where I still love her, what she did is unforgivable in my eyes. the signs where there in the past too but I turned my shoulder to them and trusted her every word. I used to think I was never good enough for her, but now I realize even I deserve better then that. dont give in dude. I know the Varsh Well enough to know that he is a good guy and does not need to be put through hell like that. the once with no strings attached is a lie. just a small trap to lure you in. dont do it.

[King Zeal]

Just to throw in my lot--I also agree that the "no strings attached" thing is a lie. There are always strings attached. If you can't see them, then that just means she's that good of a puppeteer.

The best thing to do in this situation is to remember what you have and to cease all contact immediately. The more you do to remove yourself from a tempting situation, the better off you'll be.

[The Varsh]

Thanks for all the advice everyone. The Varsh hasn't talked to her for a while and doesn't plan on it. The only thing that irks him is that he would have liked to have had at least a passable friendship with this person. But that's gone now due to her actions. Thanks again everyone. You've all helped The Varsh through a very trying time.

[King Zeal]

That's great, man.

. . . But most importantly, I posted in the thread just in time to take most of the credit.

Yay me!

[The Varsh]

Yay Zeal!!! The Varsh loves him some Zeal. Almost to an unhealthy extent. Hey Zeal...nothing attached? Bwahahahahaha!!!!!!!1!!11111111!!!!!!!!1

[Legato]

Make babies. Make as many babies as possible. MAKE BABIES!! WHAT DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?! MAKE BABIEEESSS!!!!

[The Varsh]

The Varsh has him a baby! Ready go!

[jerubal]

Hah, I feel you man (not in a gay way). If I even think about seeing some girls it makes my brain, heart, and lungs turn to lead and sink into the pit of my stomach.
If I ended it with them it's harder... a mix of guilt and a possible missed chance. If they ended it with me I manage distaste far more easily.

The plain fact is, I'll feel something big regardless... and it's very rarely pretty (just like almost any breakup in-progress). Don't beat yourself up for it.
That way madness lies.

On the plus side? It makes her a pretty shitty person for trying to do over your life again. Bad people are easy to make personality calls on.